Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again
Deluxe Jesus Action Figure
This isn’t your daddy’s Jesus action figure. Sure, his might have been all antique-ey and stuff, but did it come with eight glorious accessories? And after all, what is an action figure without accessories? The Son of God deserves no less.
Five loaves of bread, two fish and a jug that looks like it turns water into wine. The figure also includes Glow in the Dark Miracle Hands!!!
Who knew that Christ himself would ever be cast in hard plastic and shrunk to 5.25 inches tall. And although The Good Lord, Jesus Christ might look like a dirty hippie, you and I know that he’s a really nice guy who taught by example.
Answer Me Jesus
Wiser than an ordinary magic 8 ball
Accept Answer Me Jesus into your life today and the rewards will be everlasting. Jesus offers 20 different answers to help you choose the righteous path. Ask a question and turn him over, and the answer you seek magically appears. Your personal Jesus will respond with wisdom such as, “Have Faith,” Yes my child,” or “Sinner.” So the next time you are pondering one of life’s many dilemmas find out what Jesus would do and repent no more!
Over 11 inches tall and 4 inches wide.
Jesus Action Figure
In today’s world of “man made super heroes,” children need to be reminded of Bible individuals who were genuine heroes, performing the work God had for them. ChariotVictor is pleased to present this series of action figures designed to accompany timeless Bible stories. Children can act out their favorite Bible lessons with each Discovery Bible Action Figure.
Help Children Understand Anti-Semitism
By explaining that Jesus was really white, and that He only spoke King James English. Verily, I say unto thee that Jesus never changes. 2000 years and one trip to hell and heaven later, and he’s still wearing the white robe with blue sash. Truly, Jesus never changes.
LOL means Love Our Lord!
Now you can color Him too!
Laughing Jesus printouts are fun to color and even more fun to post around your neighborhood! Brighten everyone’s day with Laughing Jesus!
Choose Your Jesus! Any Jesus!
These guys are trying to cater to everyone. Need a Semitic Jesus? Got you covered. Fundamentalist whack job? No problem, got you covered too.
Val Kilmer Jesus
Is it just me or does this Jesus look eerily similar to Val Kilmer?
Product Features:
• 12″ tall
• Fully articulated, with 18 points of articulation including hands and fingers that can gasp and hold
• Realistic eyes
• Hand-sewn cloth outfits and sandals
• 63 seconds of Scripture, recorded in an easy-to-memorize style.
Fingers that can gasp? Now this I have to see. Apparently they don’t love the Lord enough to spell correctly as they try to mass market him. Jesus is articulate though, that’s pretty cool.
Scare the Hell out of your child. Literally.
Make a nail just like the ones used by the Romans to crucify Our Lord. A thought-provoking project that will impress upon your children the suffering that Jesus went through on their behalf. Makes a great Christmas ornament!
While doing this lovely craft you can explain to your small child that Jesus had to suffer horribly and die because of his sin: “Do you remember when you lied to me Johnny?” “Yes.” “Well this nail is like that lie.” There is literally endless hours of fun shaming and manipulating your children.
Caution: Pointy edges. Not for children under 5.
Requires: 1 sheet of paper or card stock, scissors, scoring tool, glue or tape. No common sense whatsoever.
*I was going to write something intelligent pointing out the misconceptions about some of the above, but I figured if you can’t connect dots this obvious then I am just throwing pearls. This also reminds me of the Baby Jesus prayer in Talladega Nights. Just make up any Jesus you want and go with it. Big Sigh.
HT: J
If you like Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch then go here. There’s a lot more.
OK, I promise not to comment on my 1.1″ Papal scepter. I have a Papal blessing to pronounce this evening anyway, so it’s in use.
Don’t you think every Christian child ought to have a nail pounded through their palm so they can learn just how much sin brings suffering?
LOL!
Jesus DOES look like Val Kilmer.
I also noticed that the nail says “Sorry Jesus” on the side.
Are they saying sorry to Jesus or do they merely have a sorry Jesus that they worship?
Flippin hilarious!
If only Dante had known about the people who make these things when he wrote Inferno. How much fun that would be to read!
Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again
Sounds like they need some Powerade…
Sorry if I say this, but I`m still shocked by the amount of people who still believe in God en Jezus as it has been written, as if they are facts of life. Come on it`s a story something in the direction of the brothers Grimm, nothing has been proven, nothing will be proven. The only thing that can be right is that there was a man and he made a hell of an impression on the people of his time and from there on a story has been told. Something to keep the crowd calm and hopefull, like a bedtime story you tell your kids to make them sleep beter and not worrie `bout tomorrow, or if you want them to listen you make something up like the boogyman. “if you don`t do this…that will happen to you.”
Come on people, we are all products of nature as it is, and as you can see and feel, that`s reale and proven as a fact. As long as we live our lifes the way we want without hurting or using others, if there is such a thing as a God, I know he wanted that and not the religious propaganda as we see on television.
Like the product though.
Your lack of historical understanding and philosophical argumentation is almost as inspiring as your use of spelling and grammar.
With such obvious intellectual gifts and their clear use, how could you be wrong? Maybe, I should delete this comment because clearly everyone that reads it will become an atheist, or at the very least an agnostic, from this superb piece of writing. Well done.
Liked the article though.
“As long as we live our lifes the way we want without hurting or using others, if there is such a thing as a God, I know he wanted that”
And here i’ve been trying to live the way GOD wants me to. What a silly silly man i’ve been.
very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
Idetrorce
Jesus help me please.
“As long as we live our lifes the way we want without hurting or using others, if there is such a thing as a God, I know he wanted that” ???
If you dont believe in God then why worry about hurting and using others? you know oil and water dont mix well, go ahead Sarah live the way you want you already made your own little god.
Oh was that video clip a clip from Lakeland? Sounded like a Todd Bentley prayer to me. Only – it made a little sense, so I guess not. My bad.
It’s the first time I commented here and I must say that you provide genuine, and quality information for bloggers! Great job.
p.s. You have an awesome template for your blog. Where did you find it?
The template is a wordpress freebie and the header I created in Photoshop