Run Naked… It’s a Biblical Principle

I was going to run this under the title of “More Pastoral Misconduct,” but it is just so odd I went on a silly rant instead.

Parishes ponder naked, jogging priest
By John Ingold
Denver Post Staff Writer

The leadership councils at three northern Colorado Catholic parishes met tonight with a vicar from the Archdiocese of Denver to discuss what to do about a priest charged with going for a naked jog. Frederick police busted the Rev. Robert Whipkey in June after an off-duty officer spotted him walking down the street naked at about 4:30 in the morning. Whipkey told police he had been jogging at the Frederick High School track.

“I’m a heavy man and wearing clothing while running makes me sweat profusely,” Whipkey said, according to a police report. “I know what I did was wrong.”

Whipkey was charged with a misdemeanor count of indecent exposure and could, if convicted, have to register as a sex offender. His lawyer, Doug Tisdale, declined to comment.

“We take this matter seriously and have been addressing the situation,” the Archdiocese of Denver said in a statement today. “Based on the information that the archdiocese has, it does not appear that Father Whipkey’s actions involved any other individual — adult or child.”

“I was thinking, ‘Man, my wife is getting up at about that time,’” said resident Jody Lucas. “It’s a little weird, especially for a Catholic priest.”

Lucas’s wife, Yolanda, said she often attends church at St. Theresa and said Whipkey seems like a nice person.

“I was kind of shocked,” she said.

But, she said priests are human. She plans to keep going to the church.

“I don’t go because of the father,” she said. “I go because of my religion. I’m not going to change my religion because the father made a mistake.”

Jerry Wright, who lives near the track, said based on Whipkey’s statements he doesn’t think the priest should have to register as a sex offender if convicted.

“But I don’t even know why he would think about doing something like that,” Wright said.

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“It’s a little weird, especially for a Catholic priest.” Correction: It’s a LOT weird, period. “But I don’t even know why he would think about doing something like that,” Amen and ditto times ten.

I’m guessing this guy’s life verse is Mark 14:52, “but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked. “

Actually, this could be a good example of how some preachers stretch the literalness, grammar, and logic of a text to make some sort of point. I hesitate to call it a point, but it is their intent. And then they follow it up with the four words that should alert many parishioners that it is time to do some serious study, and maybe not take everything out of this guy’s mouth at face value:

It’s a biblical principle.

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit remembering some of the times I have heard these four words manipulated to convince an audience that what was being “preached” was biblical. Sometimes, over-the-top examples show us best what can happen subtly:

Mark 14:52, “but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked. ” Brothers and sisters the text clearly states that when the man was running he was unclothed. The Greek word used here is gumnos, it means literally “naked, bare, unclothed,” and all six times it appears in the NT it is used in this sense. Also, the Greek word that means he “ran off, or fled” is in the active. So hear we have clear biblical precedence of a person actively running naked.

But he left the linen cloth and ran off naked… ran off naked. I’m wondering this morning how many people in our church like to go out for a run on a consistent basis. Maybe you are training for a marathon, or maybe you just like to go out for a light jog. What really concerns me, however, is that we like to say that we are a Bible believing church, and yet every time I see someone from our congregation running they have clothes on!

Saints, how do you expect to have the blessing of the Lord if you won’t even follow his Word? We find this man in Mark’s Gospel and when he runs, he runs naked. Are you willing to run naked? Are you willing to trust God’s Word? When you go for your run this week, run naked: It’s a biblical principle!

The reason this sort of preaching bothers me so much is that most likely anyone can see through the silliness of my above “sermon,” but far fewer seem to notice this sort of manipulation when it happens in far subtler forms, and that makes it way, way, WAY more dangerous. How do I know that? It’s a biblical principle of course.