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Positively Identifying the Antichrist

June 17, 2008

Some scholars argue that one of the most difficult puzzles of Revelation–the meaning of the number 666–can be worked out with reference to Nero. They argue that the author of Revelation is using gematria, a technique in which each letter of the alphabet is assigned a numerical equivalent.

Gematria is a type of numerological study that may be defined as one of more systems for calculating the numerical equivalence of letters, words, and phrases in a particular text.

The sum of the numerical values of the Greek word “beast” (therion) is 666; therefore, “the number of the beast is 666.”

But 666 is also “the number of its name” and “the number of a person” (Revelation 13:17-18; 15:2). Therefore some “academics” or “theologians” argue that when Nero Caesar is written in Hebrew characters the sum is 666; hence, he is that person.

Clearly, this is the arrogant enterprise of innovators who think that in some manner using the original languages of the author, and the shared worldview of that author and his intended audience, will somehow shine light on the possible meaning of a text. The foolishness of such an endeavor would be sad if it were not so laughable. The Apocalypse of John–that’s “Revelations” to us that hold a high view of Scripture–was not intended for a community in Ephesus or the such, but to foretell what would happen in the last days.

The Standard Method for identifying the numerical value of Hebrew letters is:

Now this is where it gets really creepy: If we take the name Tiger Woods and transliterate it into Hebrew we get: תגר שדס

When totaled using the Standard Method we calculate: 400 + 3 + 200 + 4 + 60 = 667. However, the careful reader will notice that in the above transliteration a shin was used to represent the “W” sound at the beginning of Woods last name. In Hebrew there is no such letter; therefore, in the standard method a value of -1 is inputed into the formula for such an occurrence. Therefore, the formula now becomes 667 – 1 = 666!!!

666 is “the number of its name” and “the number of a person” and that person is Tiger Woods. There were clues before this groundbreaking research that should have been noticed by many.

First, Tiger has just about every ethnicity on the planet running in his bloodlines. Just to be safe he married Scandinavian. This is the sort of multiculturalism that will characterize the reign of the Antichrist as he gains the trust of the nations. Secondly, Tiger is the spokesperson for American Express. For years people have told us that we would be getting the Beast’s number embedded in our hands or foreheads with a computer chip that functioned as a credit card. Obviously, Tiger is aligning himself with this company so that when he gains world domination he can use their services. The list just goes on and on. Tiger plays on the PGA; add an “A” and “N” and you have PAGAN. He is employed by a company named Nike which is the goddess of victory in Greek mythology. Scary stuff folks, scary stuff.

Tiger is the sort of person the world would embrace with open arms, and many would just not see his ulterior evil intentions; ignorance is no longer an excuse. There is much more to write on this subject now that we have identified the beast. The Scriptures come alive with revelation as we unpack Revelations with this key. Hopefully in the upcoming weeks I will be able to continue this groundbreaking research; I am open to help.

One final thought: I am convinced that the locus of Tiger’s evil kingdom will be Nashville, TN. His message is already going forth in the form of country music and the bastardization of contemporary Christian music. Open your eyes and you will also see the truth. If you disagree with me then you have a rebellious spirit–probably from Tiger–and have hardened your heart to God and His Holy Word.

If this does not finally land me in the category of biblioblog (instead of theoblog) and a position of priority in the next Biblical Studies carnival then no amount of scholarship will ever suffice, and it will be evident of the jealousy that other scholars feel towards my research that far surpasses their shoddy and recycled work.

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17 Comments leave one →
  1. June 17, 2008 11:06 am

    Perfect timing, as I just demonstrated it is NOT Barack Obama. :-)

  2. June 17, 2008 11:14 am

    Let us not forget Tiger is good friends with Charles Barkley who’s favorite town is Vegas(sin city) and who also got into a fight with Shaq, who as we all know ruined the Lakers for a few years by leaving, and anyone who works against the Lakers is obviously a force of evil working against God’s kingdom.

  3. June 17, 2008 12:15 pm

    no “shin”? what? hilarious stuff Scott!!!!

  4. June 17, 2008 1:51 pm

    Nice work.

    You may want to get Hagee this information right away.

  5. Jake permalink
    June 17, 2008 9:50 pm

    The bastardization of contemporary christian music? You’re saying it was good at one point? Come on man…

  6. June 17, 2008 9:52 pm

    Are you saying it was “contemporary” at one time?

  7. June 18, 2008 8:53 am

    So, if somebody kills Tiger Woods the antichrist will be dead?
    Is there an automatic reincarnation?
    Is it in the form of a baby?
    Should we be looking for other names, potential reincarnations of the antichrist?

  8. June 18, 2008 12:13 pm

    Well, I’m sold on that. ;-)

  9. November 25, 2008 4:02 pm

    That thing is BULL! The antichrist is BARACK OBAMA! I mean isn’t it obvious?!

  10. RICHARD SCHURZ permalink
    May 4, 2009 8:30 am
  11. Jake permalink
    May 4, 2009 1:55 pm

    This one time, I got a decoder ring out of a box of Captain Crunch and TOTALLY figured out the brain teaser on the back.

  12. Jake permalink
    May 25, 2009 1:58 pm

    K, even the captain crunch decoder can’t help me on that one.

  13. December 18, 2009 4:43 pm

    You’re a fool,idiot, dummy,stupid,moron,You couldn’t identify the beast it takes wisdom.I hear President Obama now sex hound Tiger Woods all prophecy sites are useless just a bunch of rednecks spewing garbage. What crediablity you had you have been exposed.A One comedian let me know when your at the local comedy club your a riot…………A voice laughing in the wilderness. John

  14. Michael B permalink
    December 21, 2009 2:19 pm

    “A bunch of rednecks spewing garbage…” Looks like Scotteriology has found itself a new slogan.

  15. Jon H permalink
    April 25, 2010 1:47 am

    You were close!

    It’s only PART of Tiger Woods.

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  2. How I Know Barack Obama Is NOT The Antichrist

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