Positively Identifying the Antichrist

2008 June 17
by agathos

Some scholars argue that one of the most difficult puzzles of Revelation–the meaning of the number 666–can be worked out with reference to Nero. They argue that the author of Revelation is using gematria, a technique in which each letter of the alphabet is assigned a numerical equivalent.

Gematria is a type of numerological study that may be defined as one of more systems for calculating the numerical equivalence of letters, words, and phrases in a particular text.

The sum of the numerical values of the Greek word “beast” (therion) is 666; therefore, “the number of the beast is 666.”

But 666 is also “the number of its name” and “the number of a person” (Revelation 13:17-18; 15:2). Therefore some “academics” or “theologians” argue that when Nero Caesar is written in Hebrew characters the sum is 666; hence, he is that person.

Clearly, this is the arrogant enterprise of innovators who think that in some manner using the original languages of the author, and the shared worldview of that author and his intended audience, will somehow shine light on the possible meaning of a text. The foolishness of such an endeavor would be sad if it were not so laughable. The Apocalypse of John–that’s “Revelations” to us that hold a high view of Scripture–was not intended for a community in Ephesus or the such, but to foretell what would happen in the last days.

The Standard Method for identifying the numerical value of Hebrew letters is:

Now this is where it gets really creepy: If we take the name Tiger Woods and transliterate it into Hebrew we get: תגר שדס

When totaled using the Standard Method we calculate: 400 + 3 + 200 + 4 + 60 = 667. However, the careful reader will notice that in the above transliteration a shin was used to represent the “W” sound at the beginning of Woods last name. In Hebrew there is no such letter; therefore, in the standard method a value of -1 is inputed into the formula for such an occurrence. Therefore, the formula now becomes 667 – 1 = 666!!!

666 is “the number of its name” and “the number of a person” and that person is Tiger Woods. There were clues before this groundbreaking research that should have been noticed by many.

First, Tiger has just about every ethnicity on the planet running in his bloodlines. Just to be safe he married Scandinavian. This is the sort of multiculturalism that will characterize the reign of the Antichrist as he gains the trust of the nations. Secondly, Tiger is the spokesperson for American Express. For years people have told us that we would be getting the Beast’s number embedded in our hands or foreheads with a computer chip that functioned as a credit card. Obviously, Tiger is aligning himself with this company so that when he gains world domination he can use their services. The list just goes on and on. Tiger plays on the PGA; add an “A” and “N” and you have PAGAN. He is employed by a company named Nike which is the goddess of victory in Greek mythology. Scary stuff folks, scary stuff.

Tiger is the sort of person the world would embrace with open arms, and many would just not see his ulterior evil intentions; ignorance is no longer an excuse. There is much more to write on this subject now that we have identified the beast. The Scriptures come alive with revelation as we unpack Revelations with this key. Hopefully in the upcoming weeks I will be able to continue this groundbreaking research; I am open to help.

One final thought: I am convinced that the locus of Tiger’s evil kingdom will be Nashville, TN. His message is already going forth in the form of country music and the bastardization of contemporary Christian music. Open your eyes and you will also see the truth. If you disagree with me then you have a rebellious spirit–probably from Tiger–and have hardened your heart to God and His Holy Word.

If this does not finally land me in the category of biblioblog (instead of theoblog) and a position of priority in the next Biblical Studies carnival then no amount of scholarship will ever suffice, and it will be evident of the jealousy that other scholars feel towards my research that far surpasses their shoddy and recycled work.

13 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 June 17

    Let us not forget Tiger is good friends with Charles Barkley who’s favorite town is Vegas(sin city) and who also got into a fight with Shaq, who as we all know ruined the Lakers for a few years by leaving, and anyone who works against the Lakers is obviously a force of evil working against God’s kingdom.

  2. 2008 June 17

    no “shin”? what? hilarious stuff Scott!!!!

  3. 2008 June 17

    Nice work.

    You may want to get Hagee this information right away.

  4. 2008 June 17
    Jake permalink

    The bastardization of contemporary christian music? You’re saying it was good at one point? Come on man…

  5. 2008 June 17

    Are you saying it was “contemporary” at one time?

  6. 2008 June 18

    So, if somebody kills Tiger Woods the antichrist will be dead?
    Is there an automatic reincarnation?
    Is it in the form of a baby?
    Should we be looking for other names, potential reincarnations of the antichrist?

  7. 2008 June 18

    Well, I’m sold on that. ;-)

  8. 2008 November 25

    That thing is BULL! The antichrist is BARACK OBAMA! I mean isn’t it obvious?!

  9. 2009 May 4
    RICHARD SCHURZ permalink
  10. 2009 May 4
    Jake permalink

    This one time, I got a decoder ring out of a box of Captain Crunch and TOTALLY figured out the brain teaser on the back.

  11. 2009 May 25
    Jake permalink

    K, even the captain crunch decoder can’t help me on that one.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. The Boar’s Head Tavern

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS