What Would Jesus Drop Into Her Pumpkin?
JC has always been at the shallow end of the pool for the “special” children. Don’t know JC? Well, allow me to introduce you to him: JC is Jack Chick.
For years Chick Publications has been producing evangelistic tracts from a certain “perspective”. The problem is that in describing Chick’s perspective, and his efforts with his tracts, the word dilettante hardly begins to describe what he does to theology, the Bible, philosophy, et cetera.
He’s always been bad, but with Halloween approaching, for some reason, Chick has entered the realm of bizarre.
These are the questions Chick publications asks concerning trick-or-treaters on their website to push Chick’s latest ‘evangelistic’ tract: Would Jesus run off to church or hide back in the TV room with the front lights off? Or would he use this golden opportunity to share His love with her?
The answer to these questions, of course, is: Jesus would use the moment and share his love by dropping a Chick Tract from Chick publications in her treat bag! The intentionality and theology behind such thinking is so arrogant as to beggar the rational mind: If Jesus ministered among us today what He would really be doing is putting Chick tracts in goodie bags?#!???!%$#$%!!??
Jesus Christ man! [apropo in the context] What is wrong with you? WWJD? Jesus wouldn’t be Jesus to people he would put a tract in someone’s goodie bag so they could learn about Jesus? How stupid can one presupposition be?
Unfortunately, the insanity and stupidity does not stop there.
Chick’s WWJD version of ministering and serving people, thereby, reflecting God’s love is handing out comic book tracts. Unfortunately, one of the tracts he thinks will communicate the J in WWJD is this horrible travesty.
I’m sorry to do this to you, but it is so bad I simply have to share my psychological agony with others.
Click HERE to read tract and watch Super Jesus Powers Activate.
How was that for you? I experienced something along the lines of this in the first five minutes after reading the tract:
I mean… Really?… I just… *brain cramp*… Really? But I… *feverishly scratching forehead trying to claw mind’s eye out*… Ummmm??… *crying*… Really?… But the Bible says… *in fetal position weeping and rocking*… This is a joke right… *sigh*…
There simply are no words to describe this travesty…
No “HT” for this one; however, revenge may have to be taken on Kurt over at the BHT for pointing this out.
I like it. Where can I order a copy? The jokes on you Scott. You just don’t get the incredible subtlety of “Chick Lit.”
Favourite quote from the chick site (in the ‘Do tracts really work?’ section):
“I found a Chick tract in the restroom in high school. I was saved from reading it.”
It appeals to a neanderthal mentality that is all too common in the evangelical church. Like the arses who think a tract is better than a tip at a restaurant??? If you feel compelled to give out a tract (shudder) then at least give a frickin nice tip! If you drop it in a goodie bag, then give them something nice too – maybe some chewing gum so that they can use the tract pages to safely dispose of the chewed matter.
But isn’t this just the logical extension of our excapist popular evangelical theology? I mean we’re getting out of here anyway. None of this stuff matters anyway, isn’t God going to turf this world and get on with the real deal anyway? It doesn’t matter what we do to people or the planet, God couldn’t have meant the cosmos in John 3:16 – I mean that would really mess with how we like to interpret our favourite verse. If you buy into this you too can be twice the son of hell, uh I mean just as saved as the rest of us! Grrrr. Since when does becoming a Christian become an excuse for being an arse?
(end of rant)
Sorry for being snarky. Brain fart.
[Scott: No offense taken. Trust me. I actually get great entertainment out of the "incredible subtlety" of ChickLit. Just probably not the sort of value JC is aiming for!]
“Chick Lit” – lol
I remember the scary tracts and “christian” comic books from my youth. Totally made people everywhere love Jesus.
I discovered salvation through a Benny Hinn tract.
femanuel:
Umm… I’m not really keeping score here, but… Somewhere around I Corinthians, maybe?
Of course, the as***le-itude didn’t really cook off ’til the Inquisitors… those cats really knew how to spread the love of Christ!
OK, if this rambling, incomprehensible piece of drivel can be considered a witnessing tool, then could we stop boycotting Harry Potter movies if they produced versions with the sinner’s prayer included at the end?
At the very least it would be less embarrassing.
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Purple monkey dishwasher?
For those with eyes Jake.