I’d Like to Thank the Academy…

It’s the Oscars time of year, and usually people associate it with Hollywood and actors, but the real Oscars were given out last evening: The Biblioblogging Oscars.

As there were some technical difficulties there is presently no video of the event so I shall have to describe it to you in detail.

Returning from commercial break, orchestra playing music

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Salma Hayek and Halle Berry (They walk onto the stage and to the podium)

Salma: It’s been a great night so far with many deserving nominees and winners
Halle: But we have finally arrived at the moment you have all been waiting for “Bibliobloggings Best Motion Picture of the Year“
Salma: The nominees are: Scott Bailey for his work on Hermeneutics videos
Halle: Scott Bailey for his passionate portrayal of Barak Obama
Salma: Scott Bailey for the epic The Worst Preacher Ever
Halle: Scott Bailey for the delightful Genesis One Five
Salma: Scott Bailey for his one man show “Leviticus 18: The Interpretive Dances”
Halle: And the winner is…
Salma: Scott Bailey!

(Scott rises from his seat in astonishment to a standing ovation accompanied by cheering and riotous applause as he walks to the stage. Salma and Halle greet him in a manner that borders on inappropriate and Scott has to gently remind them that he is married. Stepping to the mic…)

Scott: Thank you, thank you.

(The audience continues chanting “Bailey, Bailey” for a couple of minutes as Scott tries to calm them down)

Scott: OK, guys, thank you. I appreciate it, thank you.

(Margaret Barker rushes the stage and throws her room key and a piece of lingerie before being taken away by security while she simultaneously weeps and swoons)

Scott: First, I would like to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for allowing me to blog and for giving me my inspiration to make silly insights about people claiming to represent him.

Secondly, I would like to thank Dr. Jim West and the academy for this recognition.  It is not often in a person’s lifetime that they can be honored with an award of this magnitude, but somehow I feel as if it validates everything I have ever done.

To the other honorees this evening, David, Chris, Drew, Antonio, Pat, and everyone else, I like your work very much, and it is a privilege to even have my name mentioned along side of yours.

Finally, I would like to thank all of the little people that make this recognition and an evening like this possible.

Thank you, and God bless.

(Exits to even louder applause. Men are jealous and women are swooning, Salma still trying to get Scott’s phone number…)

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