How To Worship
I have a couple of favorite worship maneuvers. One, like the video instructs, when someone adopts a pained expression to show everyone else just how serious they are about the song at hand. Though, often I think that it may be more appropriate to describe the person as on the verge of an orgasm: this is creepy when a worship leader does it while they moan into a phallus like object.
Second, the person that raises one hand, adopts painful or sexual expression, and moves that one hand back and forth as if they are high-fiving an angel. Equally creepy and distracting if done from the stage.
In total, the more you look like a dog trying to crap out a peach pit sideways the more you love Jesus.
Which is why I always do interpretive dances during worship in my tongues-of-fire-unitard with a pained expression and both hands raised moving back and forth high-fiving two angels.
Let that roll around in the old brain imaging area for awhile.
Sorry to be a stumbling block.
HT for the video: LovingYourDominatrix
i love the mcgrath link name.
(and i posted this video last week, you non reading pagan slacker!)
I swear I read almost everything you post… I guess this is evidence of the “almost” part.
Oh, that was me?!
Don’t feel bad for missing it on Jim West’s blog. There’s too much total depravity for anyone other than him to keep up with.
If you’re looking for inspiration for future posts, here’s a worship song with one particularly interesting and controversial line in the lyrics that is just the sort of thing you’ve commented on in the past…
Sounds like John could’ve written about you in his Revelation…
“Then another angel, having the Tongues of Fire Unitard of the Living God, came and stood at the altar. And he was given much “incense”, that he should be greatly stoned and offer it with the pot addled ramblings of all the saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. And the smoke of the “incense”, with the prayers of the saints, ascended before God from the Unitarded Freak’s hand, and he did dance like Elaine Bennis. And it was weird.” (Revelation sommin or rather)
Your Greek skills are obviously rusty. Where you translated “Elaine Bennis” it should read “MC Hammer,” and where you translated “weird” it should read “extremely awesome.”
I keep trying to picture that, Scott, but all I can come up with is this.
[shudder]
Perhaps these two words will help you picture it: Sexy. Time.
LOL
Part of me laughed so hard it hurt…the other part of me wanted to cry (knowing some of the struggles one of my congregations is having with this right now…the whole what constitutes worship thing). Thanks for the post!
I grew up in the same church as the pastor of the church that made this video… I am pretty sure it’s meant to be a satire.
I’m positive it’s meant to be satire… that’s why I posted it!
of course!
satire????? no way!!!!!!!!