CMMI Quarter-Finals: Cancer Pastor vs Morningstar Madness
Morningstar Madness
I know it might be hard to imagine, but these are the same nut jobs responsible for more than one entry in this contest: The Holy Ghost Holy Pokey (HGHP). Now the HGHP is sad, frustrating, incredibly stupid, and on and on with as many negative adjectives from the English language as possible. But what’s weird about this video is not only is it insane, but my guess is that it would scare the daylights out of many Christians, and they would wonder about demon possession.
This is yet another example of modern people acting like pre-critical ancient barbarians. They tried the HGHP magic song and that didn’t work, so now move onto chanting and wailing to drums, and maybe the force, God, gods, devils, evil, whatever (?), will work in your favor.
I kid you not, I half-expected someone to run onto the stage and sacrifice a goat about half-way through this video.
At this point there is only one question, and only one way it can be phrased: WTF is going on at that church? I mean… cuz damn… this is some messed up stuff.
Cancer Pastor Michael Guglielmucci
Michael Guglielmucci is a former Adelaide pastor who inspired hundreds of thousands of young Christians with his with his terminal cancer “battle” and has been exposed as a fraud. Guglielmucci released a hit song The Healer which was featured on an album by Sydney church Hillsong. It debuted at No. 2 on the ARIA charts. The song became an anthem of faith for believers, many of whom are suffering their own illness and were praying for a miracle for Mr Guglielmucci, who has claimed for two years to be terminally ill. One problem… Guglielmucci was lying about having cancer!
Guglielmucci may be the final definitive proof that God is not a God of retribution. He might just be the lynchpin in the argument against the mean, punitive, and vindictive God of people like Pat Robertson. The fact that this guy didn’t get hit by a lightning-bolt as he read Isaiah while hooked up to an oxygen-tank because he was “sick” so he could manipulate the emotions of the congregation darn near proves that there is nothing, that anyone, at anytime, can do to deserve some sort of retributive punishment.
But Damn!… that takes balls. First, lie about having cancer, then get up in front of a large group of people (while being filmed!) wearing an oxygen tube–because you have cancer–and then read some emotionally loaded Scripture so you can create the right ethos for your song? Wow.
Words… Just… Fail
… Ooops! Make that Porn-Addicted Cancer-Faking pastor.
Do you remember when they told you stop doing that or you’ll go blind? Apparently, ‘they’ were wrong. Stop doing that or you’ll become a worship pastor, fake cancer, lose your hair, throw up all over yourself, and need an oxygen tube.
In summary: “The real reason I faked cancer is because I’m addicted to porn.”
Ahhh! It all makes sense now… or not.
The Cancer Pastor is just one more wicked fraud in the long line of frauds found in human history. Morningstar Madness brings a unique kind of insanity to the table. I’m voting for insanity over unmitigated evil.
Judging purely on insanity, I’m taking the Sociopath. Because he’s literally, clinically insane.
Early results seems to favor Cancer Pastor, and I gotta say, while that’s bad and all, I’m still choosing ‘return to shaka shaka Tribal worship dance’ over some dude who scammed people.
Yea but, “The Goog” doesn’t just bring a special kind of insanity to the table. He is, by the very definition of the word, insane. He’s completely dissociated himself from reality, convinced himself of his own lie (that’s the only way you can fake it that well) and sucked thousands and thousands of people into the façade by profiting off their… well profiting off of every fruit that a follower of Christ ought to be known by.
As far as sheer “madness” goes, ol’ Gugli has got all the hitting power in this competition. If he were a baseball team, his batting order would be, Canseco, Aaron, McGuire, Sosa, Ruth, Bonds and Strawberry. You just can’t pitch against this guy. He’s gonna knock you outta the park. All the hitting power… all of the steroids.
I think Benny Hinn looked at The Goog, and was like: “Oh man. Why didn’t I think of that?” And when you can impress Benny with your amassing of fame, wealth and followers based on a lie – you know you’re good.
But to me, he just took the Creflo, Benny, Todd scam to the next level. He’s like Pete Rose – he’s great, but he’ll never be in the hall of fame, and there will always be an asterisk by his stats.
Whereas morningstar has taken crazy to the next level. If somebody stood on stage, and said “I have cancer”, nobody should really question that. But when these morningstarers act the way they do – every single person should have the sense to see how wrong it is.
They’re like having Ed Reid, Deion Sanders, Champ Bailey and Rod Woodson in your secondary. You can run for a few yards – but you will NEVER throw the long ball.
Can you do that? Is that allowed? Football and baseball analogies in the same comment thread?
Judges?
While I am usually against mixing metaphors, broadly defined, what we have are two sports metaphors that are arguing for two different position.
Ultimately, I think I would have to rule for the football comment though as Isaiah prophesied about the relationship between football and baseball 1500 years ago:
My sport is not your sport, neither are your ways my ways,” declares football. As far as the sky is above the earth so is my sport cooler than baseball. (Isaiah 55:8-9 SBV)
Plus steroids can cause cancer… that’s only going to encourage the Goog. We don’t need that.
I’m sorry I missed this response. Surely, goodness and mercy will follow you all of your days, Scott.
It seems I’d read somewhere that Satan created baseball right after “that dude in Judea died, and created such a stir.” Then, of course, he had Joseph Smith bring it to the Indians as entre for his new religion.
At any rate, football is definitely a more holy pasttime.
“Football is definitely a more holy pasttime.”
Which is why God is a Manchester United fan.
Is that a new AFC-West expansion team?