CMMI: Rick Pino vs Christian Side-Hug
The Madness continues! This is the final contest of this round; we will move into the semis on Monday.
You won’t often read the words “Zwingli was right” in a sentence-in fact this may be the only time in the history of mankind–but with these two videos his prohibition on music in the church seems the only sensible conclusion.
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for people to do really, really stupid things, that takes religion.
Just a quickie for all of the Youtube commenters: no David did not dance naked in front of the ark (and even if literally was naked it is poor exegesis to make all verses subjective to one), and yes, I am allowed to judge! In case you missed the memo, Jesus put me in charge of this sort of thing. It’s written on the heavenly tablets.
Christian Side Hug
It is hard for me to adequately describe the travesty of this video.
When I first saw it I thought it was a joke. OK, ha ha, whatever… but then it slowly dawned on me that no they might not be joking. Then I started paying attention to the wonderful lyrics
“Gimme that Christian Side Hug, Gimme That Christian Side Hug, I’m a Rough Rider filled up with Christ’s Love, Gimme that Christian Hug…”
I have been hard in the past on the lyrics of other songs, but it is difficult for me to imagine a worse line in any song ever written than: I’m a Rough Rider filled up with Christ’s Love.
It actually hurts my brain. Possibly, the worst line ever written in a Christian song.
Unfortunately, the song continues: “…When I hug people I leave room for the Holy Spirit.”
If you say that five times in a row you will actually retard your own IQ by fifteen points. OK: now that is the worst line ever written in a Christian song.
Who am I kidding?
They’re both horrible. It’s like trying to choose between herpes and syphilis.
The ‘performers’ in this video inquire, “Are you all ready to party up in here-ah?”
Ummmm… no we’re not. Please stop.
Right Round Rick Pino
I apologize in advance to anyone who watches this video that may be a musician. Your ability to write anything profitable may be severely impeded for a short while. I’m sorry.
We know that we can’t receive anything from anyone until we have honor in our hearts for them
So just like Moses, as a sign of honor, as a sign that you are removing the things that separate you from the holy place I just invite you to kick off your shoes right now… and while you’re down there grab a couple of socks!
I know it’s shocking that he attempts to use such Christianese to sound holy– full-well knowing what asininity he is about to propose– just to get people spinning socks during his “performance”… but… just like Moses?
Really? Good God… Really?
However, even more shocking is that the sheeple totally buy it… and still worse yet: defend him! ‘Cause you know, “David danced naked…”
The couplet at 2:58 is horrifying. We used to sing this as a joke, as over-the-top silliness: “Put your hands in the air and worship like you just don’t care.” Ooops, I mean “aa-yah” and “cay-yah”. The pain; the horror.
Once more, there is only one way to put this. To paraphrase: Millions of years from now, after Western Civilization has fallen and the Earth has ruptured and cooled and been reborn and a new life form has taken over the planet, if any of them happen to stumble upon a working DVD player and a copy of Rick Pino’s “Right Round” they will sum up the passing of our culture with two simple words: “Good riddance.”