CMMI Semi-Finals: New Mystics vs Crazy Julie
The Madness continues!
New Mystics
The new Mystics have been on fire and are the Cinderella story of this tournament with two monumental upsets.
Round one: Rappin’ Pastor
Quarter-finals: Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey
There’s really not much else to say about these guys. They are clearly clinically insane, but still people will attend their “services” hoping for some sort of encounter with God. Sheer insanity.
I wish there was “one” video that was indicative of the insanity of these dudes–as with the other videos in this competition–but they are so messed up (and scattered) more than one shall have to demonstrate.
In this video (at about two minutes among the other insane foolishness): “You will live and you will not die. Sickness is not your portion. You’re going to live for hundreds and hundreds of years. Yeeeaaahhh, dawg. I’m talking’ like three, four, five-hundred years old.”
Hmmmm… what are the chances that if we track the life-lengths of everyone at that meeting that none of them lives past a hundred?… or if we do a study of all the “word-of-faithers-new-mystics” of the last thousand years NONE of them made it to a hundred? Never mind “three, four, five-hundred years old!”
Unfortunately, with these two ________________ (fill in blank here, and be sure to let me know in the comments) there are more videos to testify to their madness.
Crazy Julie
If this was a contest for Most Annoying Christian Ever then Crazy Julie would be a strong entrant. However, it’s about insane Christians, and she’s still a really strong entrant! I am strongly against male on female violence, but there’s something about Julie that makes want to rush the stage and break her jaw so the “singing” will stop.
Crazy Julie entered this contest as an early favorite, and so far has handled the pressure quite well.
Round one: The Breakfast Song
Quarter-finals: Insane Jessa
I’ll let Jake and Davo describe this travesty from the original post:
You know how a lot of CCM is, or at least has been, based on creating “equivalent” artists that parallel mainstream artists? Who thought it’d be a good idea to parallel Bjork??? I mean, come on… Also, how conveniently ironic that she should give a “prophecy” that involves a massive expansion of media (media, media, media), requiring inspired worshipers donate large sums of money… especially considering she works at an acting school. I mean… what are the chances?
If there was somehow a machine that could quantify bullshit and badness then this video would break it:
If you hate yourself today, go to Youtube and watch more of her videos. Sheer madness…
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Trackbacks
- Rationalist Society of St. Louis » Blog Archive » Crazy Christian Songs 1
- Rationalist Society of St. Louis » Blog Archive » Crazy Christian Videos 2: Wrestlers for Jesus
- Rationalist Society of St. Louis » Blog Archive » Crazy Christian Videos 4: Lil’ Marky sings a song of praise
- Rationalist Society of St. Louis » Blog Archive » Crazy Christian Videos 3: Breakfast Song
Holy crap. Have you guys watched part 2 of Julie’s “prophecy”? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHPj3F9AqyY&feature=channel
Wow, there’s a “man that God wants to sneak in her back door.” I kid you not.
OK, brgulker – you forced me to go and watch the Second Half of Insanity. Thanks a lot!
So, God has his eye on the VP, and is going to sneak “his man”, “his Deborah”, in through “the back door”… Who knew that Joe Biden was the prophetic Deborah of Yahweh. I would have thought he could have done a little better than that. Maybe God just hates Obama so much that he had to try to slow down the inevitable progress of his rise to the Anti-Christ with the biggest dead-weight in Washington.
Thanks for clearing that one up, Julie!!!
thanks for having this blog….it really makes my day go bye a lot faster and happier hahaha…this Julie sister is kind of nuts
We’re talking “Tokin-the-Ghost” Crowder and his Jehovah-juana. “YOING YOING YOING!”
Craziest of Crazy Preachers before Tatted Todd and his pet Angel Emma (and sidekick Shakin’ Stacy) rang in with their Florida floor show. Right up there with the Holy Ghost Enema Lady and You Spin Me Round Spin Me Round Round Jesus Round Round.
You know how a lot of CCM is, or at least has been, based on creating “equivalent” artists that parallel mainstream artists? Who thought it’d be a good idea to parallel Bjork??? I mean, come on…
This is a continuing pattern in Christian Bizarro World in general:
“Just like fill-in-the-blank, Except CHRISTIAN (TM)!”
Usually released to Offical Christian (TM) Stores around or after the time the original fill-in-the-blank jumps the shark.
I mean, we’ve got GodTube (“Just like YouTube, Except CHRISTIAN(TM)!”), a “Just like Twitter, Except CHRISTIAN (TM)!” whose name I can’t remember, and even (according to my spies on the Lost Genre Guild) Christian Paranormal Romance novels — “Just like Twilight, Except CHRISTIAN (TM)!”