Best Prank Ever

by Scott Adams

I assume that most of you have heard about the so-called Ass Bomber. He was a terrorist who tried to kill a Saudi Deputy Interior Minister by putting a bomb up his ass and detonating it when they met. Unfortunately for the terrorist, the bomb was only big enough to kill the Ass Bomber himself.

http://www.stratfor.com/weekly/20090902_aqap_paradigm_shifts_and_lessons_learned

This raises many interesting questions. At the top of my list: Why did the Ass Bomber think that killing the Deputy Interior Minister was worth shoving a bomb up his own ass? Sure, I could see if it was the Interior Minister himself, but the deputy?

I think Saudi Arabia played this wrong. Instead of telling the state controlled media that the ASSassination attempt failed, they should have reported that the Deputy Interior Minister was dead, and so was everyone else in the building. And they should have said there was no way to stop this sort of brilliant attack. Within weeks, every member of Al Qaeada would have shoved a too-small bomb up his ass and detonated it in a market or mosque. The innocent bystanders would be startled and perhaps a little bit slimed, but otherwise unhurt. Terrorism would have a quick and amusing conclusion.

The other thing I wonder is whether the original Ass Bomber was the victim of a practical joke. I can imagine that conversation:

Ass Bomber: I wish I had an evil scheme to kill someone who is marginally important.

Joker: Maybe you could shove a bomb up your ass and surrender to the authorities.

Ass Bomber: Would that work?

Joker: Absolutely. It’s the best idea ever.

Ass Bomber: How would I get a bomb up there? It’s a little tight.

Joker: I know a guy they call Large Bruce. I think he can help you out. It might take a few weeks of continuous practice.

Ass Bomber: I don’t now if I could do that.

Joker: Because you hate Allah or what?

Christ Plays in Ten-Thousand Places
by Eugene H. Peterson

Librivox.org

LibriVox provides free audiobooks from the public domain. Volunteers record chapters of books in the public domain and release the audio files back onto the net. Their goal is to make all public domain books available as free audio books (more info). Currently there are over 2000 books finished and ready for easy download with many more being worked on.

I have a 45 minute drive each day to school and back to home.  I have downloaded some of the audiobooks from the site and have been listening to them, and while it’s not James Earl Jones or Keifer Sutherland reading stories to you the ones I have listened to so far are reasonably well done, and do not cost thirty bucks a pop.  Currently I am listening to Herodotus’ Histories Vol. 1… and at least the gentleman reading has an English accent so that adds to the novelty of hearing about Croesus and the Lydians.

Other audiobooks I hope to listen to from the site during my journeys are:

1. Tacitus, Publius Cornelius. “Annals Vol 1, The”
2. Tacitus, Publius Cornelius. “Annals Vol 2, The”
3. Tacitus, Publius Cornelius. “Annals Vol 3, The”
4. Suetonius Tranquillus, Gaius. “The Lives of the Twelve Caesars”
5. Augustine of Hippo, Saint. “The City of God” ·
6. Augustine of Hippo, Saint. “The Enchiridion of Augustine”
7. Augustine of Hippo, Saint. “Confessions”
   
8. As much of G. K. Chesterton as possible

If anyone else finds any other authors of value that I may have missed at the site be sure to let me know.  Enjoy!

These folks have dangerous minds. They have dangerous ideas. Their heresies and blasphemies and ironies and ravings and whining are just plain scary. I read them and I tremble. I try to avoid them but I’m drawn back again for another look.

Stay away.

Run from these folks. Some of them should be locked up. Some should have their computers pounded into powder and fed to them in a milkshake of mental madness. Some of them, if you read them might shake your foundations. They might dislodge your dogmas. You might find your favorite icons clasted. Or maybe not.

The list includes a number of great sites with authors who express a wide variety of viewpoints that cover many different subjects.  I am honored to be included in their number. In his article David has linked each blogger with a certain warning sign. I particularly enjoyed mine:

Scott says, "Look into the laser..."

Thanks David… I think.

BS Carnival XXX: Triple the BS

Creflo Dollar Bible Study Center. Did you hear one of “Dr.” Dollar’s sermons but needed more specific coverage of the message? Get detailed notes and outlines of his sermons to reinforce your understanding of God’s Word. Find answers to life’s questions through “Dr.” Dollar’s weekly articles. With so much quality BS it is impossible to merely select one article as “Dr.” Dollar instructs you about his BS and on the issues dearest to God’s heart such as wealth, money, prosperity, finances, cash, currency, funds, riches, and just how to get more and more stuff.

Bishop’s Blog Go to T. D. Jakes blog and select the Bible or biblical studies category and be amazed… that he doesn’t have them. Tons of BS can be found at this blog. A real valuable tool for BS.

Kenneth Copeland Ministries. Can you ever have enough of THE BLESSING? No! Kenneth Copeland shares how what God has is more than enough so we can work for a giving… to God, others, the church, those in need, starving children in Africa Kenneth! The Believer’s Voice of Victory magazine has transformed many lives and is now flooding mailboxes on five different continents. Help Kenneth accumulate more “blessing” and subscribe to the print version of Believer’s Voice of Victory. With so much BS on one site I will let you wade through the BS yourself.

BS Carnival Special Consideration Award For Really, Very, Incredibly Large Amounts of BS in the Month of May

Todd Bentley! With the staggering amount of BS on his site and nightly BS in Lakeland there simply was no other candidate for this award. There have been some mixed messages from the disciples of Todd as to whether he is a teacher or not.

I accept that Todd does not give profound Bible teaching. That is not his ministry. Read Ephesians 4:11: some are gifted as teachers, and others for other ministries which are just as valid.

I agree that Todd is not doing a lot of teaching. As I said before, that is not his ministry.

On the contrary, good(-ish) teaching like Todd’s steers completely clear of immorality.

Todd does not give profound Bible teaching? Todd is not doing a lot of teaching? only good(ish) teaching? Damnable heresies people!

If Bentley is not teaching, or not teaching well, then someone needs to tell him! Because on his site there is a special section dedicated to massive, staggering amounts of BS that will shatter all of your old paradigms, and if they don’t, well, then you just have a closed mind to the truth.

Todd’s Teachings

Do you have a PhD from Princeton? An MA from Fuller? Throw them out because Todd Bentley now has his own school (but he’s not a teacher right?) If watching Todd’s BS on GodTV, or interacting with his brilliant BS online is just not enough for you then you can have eight months of non-stop BS from the master himself. This fall I was planning on attending Trinity Western University to begin an MA in biblical studies. Not anymore, now I am going to get my certificate in BS from Todd’s School. All those interested in more BS in their life can fill out the application on-line

Supernatural Training Center

So as you read good posts this month, please nominate them for the BS carnival in July. In addition, please nominate your own posts that are full of BS. The Carnival isn’t a popularity contest or an award for brilliance; rather, it is a service to readers who do not have the time to sift through the numerous posts in the area of BS each month.

Biblical Studies Carnival XXX

You can submit/nominate posts via the submission form at BlogCarnival.com or you may email them to biblical_studies_carnival AT hotmail DOT com.

This is a real good time to go through the Scotteriology brilliance of May and start e-mailing Tyler. I know it is hard to decide, but try.

How better to beat Jim at his own game than to link to one of his own articles?

The theodicy meme via Zwingli for Homeschooling

κατά Μιχαὴλ

And please, please Michael return to a more functional Blog template for us… I’ll still come back if you don’t, but watching videos on your site = poop.

His 60th post on the book of Mark here. He has now officially written more on Mark than Mark did on Jesus!

Michael and his wife are adopting a baby. If anyone can guarantee me one of these kids I may join in:

And finally Chris “the devil” Tilling as a baby

Retired Dictator Program