Yeehaw. Shoot ‘em up…

Americuh!

That’s right… throw out the NT.  Forget all that crap from Paul.

Osteen sets the record straight: No pork or shellfish!  I imagine his next sermon advice after this clip was, “If you really loved the Lord then you would get circumcised because gentile penises with their flesh hats are dirty. Right Vicky?”

There is not a real seminary in all of the world that this man could graduate from… and that’s why “pastors” of his ilk get honorary “doctorates” from ORU.  Or in Osteen’s case confess no training and proudly spread ignorance.

Judaizer powers activate:

HT: BHT

OK… that’s probably overstating things a little bit.

However, in discussing the high-profile guests of the (just started) second season USA Today points out one of the positives to this show: “The hope is that those visitors will lead you to discover the weekly joys of this show, one of the few that can unabashedly and unironically talk about faith and a mission-led life.”

This show is not perfect… but with all of The Hills, Sex and the City, Desperate Housewives, and CSI’s on TV it is certainly enjoyable to have a show that explores issues a little deeper than sex, murder, and self-fulfillment.

The clip below has some wonderful quotes: “I think that grace fulfilled you in a way you didn’t even know you needed…”

I quite like that.

The show is usually not that obvious or sledgehammer (and like I said: it is not perfect), but I would suggest that if you wanted something different–something that maybe explored some deeper issues–to go out and rent season 1, try to catch up, and then… enjoy!

To get a sense of season 1 and what has been developing in the plot of Eli Stone you can go HERE.

I loved this video. Hopefully it puts a smile on your face.

HT: The Boar’s Head Tavern

All right, it’s time to confess a dirty little secret: I watch American Idol. Faithfully. I’m sure most people who know me wouldn’t guess that this is something I make time for every week. There I said it. And I listen to Coldplay as well. May Hetfield have mercy and forgive me.

Anyways, I came to a realization over the past couple of weeks that may not be overly popular. I strongly dislike David Archuleta. I’m talking losing my religion strong. I’m not quite sure when this happened. He started of well enough. Adams during Hollywood week, a nice rendition of Imagine…but, then.

Maybe, it was the fourteen hundredth “Aw shucks.” Maybe, it was the feigned surprise every time Seacrest told him that he wasn’t in the bottom three. He looks around surprised, “Really? Really?” Seriously, everybody knows you were going to make it through: wave, smile, say thank you and drop the false humility crap.

Maybe it’s his song choices. I’m not saying this kid is young, but on the week where the contestants had to sing a song from the year of their birth he was considering one from Paula Abdul’s latest album. And then he is out every week trying to “send a message” with his songs.  And I think that this is what leads to what really bothers me.

In trying to “send a message” Archuleta picks crappy songs and then strikes sincere pop boy or back up worship singer pose. Watch him, he only has one move. Mic in left hand, right arm 90 degree angle palm up. Sometimes at real important junctures of the song he can move his right hand several inches up and down for emphasis of how important the line being sung is. And by far the most important is the facial expression: the more he can look like a constipated dog trying to pass a peach pit the more “earnest” and “important” his lyrics are. ALW got him to at least open his eyes some, but the rest still applies.

The kid can sing, but I’ll take Cook anyday. At least he can mix it up. My guess is that Archuleta will always be standing in the middle of the stage looking like he might need to take a dump holding the invisible ball in his right hand.

Am I wrong?

These two guys made me laugh very hard at their laughing!

Laughing at model

You would think this might come up at his year-end review…

Laughing at tragedy

They are going to sell it on E-bay. Surprise, surprise. Someday, really, this sort of silliness is going to have to stop. Click the link to the news site to watch accompanying video. I would have been really impressed, however, if when she flipped over the eggplant the tetragrammaton was on the other side!

Couple Considers Selling Divine Slice

The Delaware County couple with a divine slice of eggplant could put the vegetable up for sale. Felicia Teske of Boothwyn says she was preparing fried eggplant for dinner Sunday evening and noticed that the seeds in one slice seemed to spell out the word “GOD”.

Felicia says she bought the eggplant at a roadside produce stand a while back, and also says the discovery has really given her food for thought. Felicia told Action News that she recently had family members pass away and it is comforting that “GOD” appeared.

Felicia Teske and her husband put aside that slice of eggplant. But with the rest of it they had for dinner, which they say was simply divine.

The Teskes are now considering selling the eggplant on ebay.

Knoxville, TN- Cable Pro of Knoxville has for years had to put man hours and money into the problem of cable company clients who were delinquent in their payments. The practice has traditionally been that cable customers who persisted in not paying their bills would, after three notices, have their cable service cut off until their account was settled. While this practice has been successful in rooting out non-paying customers, it still costs the company an estimated $60,000 per year in lost time, and man hours.But recently Cable Pro president, Marcus Smith experimented with a new idea that has so far been very successful. Now, instead of canceling a person’s service, or sending him or her repeated notices of delinquency, Cable Pro simply changes a customer’s subscription preferences resulting in his or her service becoming 24 hours of the Trinity Broadcasting Network on every channel.“It’s worked beautifully” said Smith. “In the past we’d have to try and try to get in touch with the people who weren’t paying, try and get our man out there to cut off their service. It was just a big hassle. Now, they call us!”

Cable Pro customer Eric Wiezorek was one of the first to experience Cable Pro’s new policy.

“All I wanted to do was watch a little golf on Sunday afternoon” said Wiezorek. “I turned on my set and all I saw was this lady with big poofy hair singing. I just thought the cable company had switched up all the channels again. So I changed the channel, and it was the same thing on every channel. When I called the cable company they said I hadn’t paid up my bill in over a month.”

Now, “like clockwork” customers who are behind on their payments for cable services usually call the company within 24 hours wondering what is wrong with their cable service, only to told that they must pay up if they wish to have any channels other that TBN.

“This is the greatest idea we’ve had in a long time” said Smith. “We’ve literally saved thousands of dollars. And last week when TBN ran the non-stop Benny Hinn marathon people were calling in so fast we couldn’t keep up.”

While a number of cable customers have complained that Cable Pro’s practice amounts to “cruel and unusual” measures, Smith has no plans to change.

“The rule stands” he said. “Either pay your bill or all you’ll be watching is TBN, twenty-four-seven.”

[HT: TBNN]

“The Spock”

The World’s Only Church of Star-Trek

If you want to click the link and read the article I will leave that in your capable hands, but here’s what I thought was the best part about this whole thing:

“The Spock” is not without controversy, as reportedly in the late 1980’s disagreement arose within the church over the lengths to which members should go in emulating the purely logical and emotionless Vulcan approach to life. Some members advocated a reasonable degree of emotion (citing Mr. Spock’s half-human side), but a core group of hard-line members insisted on a rigid adherence to Vulcan ideology. The stricter view won out, and as a result, several members left the church and publicly denounced its practices.“

Even in the church of Spock there is battles between Conservatives and Liberals and a church split! This sort of thing should be sobering to Christians involved in the same sort of shenanigans at their churches, but I’m willing to bet it won’t.

What I don’t understand is how they got the same podium as Joel Osteen.

Finally, I found a “video text” that has been suppressed by the church in an attempt to keep their fake Spock as a means of manipulating their parishioners with religion. Oh they will call it heresy, but this is the “Lost Gospel of Spock” that will free all their followers from any arbitrary rules that the church has set up, and enable them to follow the true Spock in any way they choose. {If easily offended DO NOT watch the first video but skip straight away to the second.}

Me (over-dramatically): Scotty, this post (pause) kind of sucks. I need (pause) more (pause) humor.

Scotty: Yoo juss con’t due eet, yoo don ‘ave the pow’r.

Seeing as some bloggers have disappeared over the last week, and not many post over the weekend, I thought I would throw some links your way of some interesting things I came across this week. If you are really bored you may even enjoy some of them. Be good.

LINKS:

Got a new cell that starts with an ‘i’ and ends with Phone, and now you want to responsibly get rid of your old phone? Safely donate or recycle your old phone with exPhone.

Scott Adams is often brilliant. Be careful reading his stuff it can be addictive. I thought these were two good posts from this week:

My Compliments To You

How To Be Creative

This is a good post from …and his ministers a flame of fire: About Nuance

Here’s a story for worst-parents-ever: 11 year old girl faces DUI charges after high speed chase

Is your procrastination hindering you? Ten things you should know from Psychology Today

Not sure about the Left Behind series? Pisteuomen has some thoughts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

This guy is seriously messed up, and seriously funny. His Fourth of July post reeks of awesomeness!

And finally, it is an oldie but it always makes me smile: