His main point is that “one shouldn’t allow current understanding of a word to actually dictate what the word meant. Dig deep, or else you may come off looking a little absurd.” I would take it a step further. Often the very weakest sermons I have seen, and perhaps the weakest theological arguments I have heard, are when someone tries to stretch the meaning of an English word beyond any connection to its source material or logic.

I once posted an article about Rev. Robert Whipkey after an off-duty officer spotted him walking down the street naked at about 4:30 in the morning. Whipkey told police he had been jogging at the Frederick High School track.

His reasoning? “I’m a heavy man and wearing clothing while running makes me sweat profusely.” Seems legit!

Sometimes, over-the-top examples show us best what can happen subtly when someone over-stretches the ‘meaning’ of a word to make some sort of ‘point’ in their sermon.  Often this happens in very subtle ways.

So let’s use this situation as an example of how some preachers stretch the literalness, grammar, and logic of a text to make some sort of ‘point’. I hesitate to call it a point, but it is their intent. And then they follow it up with the four words that should alert many parishioners that it is time to do some serious study, and maybe not take everything out of this guy’s mouth at face value:

It’s a biblical principle.

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit remembering some of the times I have heard these four words manipulated to convince an audience that what was being “preached” was biblical. Some sort of stretched interpretation, which when examined closely completely falls apart, but then those four magic words to give it some sort of false legitimacy: it’s a biblical principle.

I’m guessing this priest’s life verse might be Mark 14:52, “but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked.”

[Setting the scene: Scott hushes the audience as they prepare for his powerful oration, which will give the people the direction and energy they need as they face their ordinary lives during the upcoming week, until they can return again next Sunday and all eyes will be focused on him once more, for even more powerful words straight from the throne room of God himself!]

Mark 14:52, “but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked. ” Brothers and sisters the text clearly states that when the man was running he was unclothed. The Greek word used here is gumnos, it means literally “naked, bare, unclothed,” and all six times it appears in the NT it is used in this sense. Also, the Greek word that means he “ran off, or fled” is in the active. So hear we have clear biblical precedence of a person actively running naked.

But he left the linen cloth and ran off naked… ran off naked. I’m wondering this morning how many people in our church like to go out for a run on a consistent basis. Maybe you are training for a marathon, or maybe you just like to go out for a light jog. What really concerns me, however, is that we like to say that we are a Bible believing church, and yet every time I see someone from our congregation running they have clothes on!

Saints, how do you expect to have the blessing of the Lord if you won’t even follow his Word? We find this man in Mark’s Gospel and when he runs, he runs naked. Are you willing to run naked? Are you willing to trust God’s Word? When you go for your run this week, run naked: It’s a biblical principle!

The reason this sort of preaching bothers me so much is that most likely anyone can see through the silliness of my above “sermon,” but far fewer seem to notice this sort of manipulation when it happens in far subtler forms, and that makes it way, way, WAY more dangerous.

How do I know that? It’s a biblical principle of course.

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For the sake of fairness: I have posted a myriad of bad, very bad, and horrendous videos from various places aimed at Christian children.

This is not for Christian children. It is from a Fantastic Four cartoon, and it is as bad and horrifying as any video I have posted in awhile.

Flame Off!

“The most bizarre, horrible, extraordinary piece of Christian puppeteering that I think you’ll ever see” – Andy Nyman

via Religion and the Media

After a year of research and preparation, the giant screen film JERUSALEM advanced into production with an unprecedented aerial shoot throughout Israel and the West Bank. Scheduled for worldwide release in 2013, the film will take audiences on a spectacular tour of the Holy Land and the city once believed to lie at the center of the world.

via Exploring Our Matrix

I’m guessing the most reasonable explanation is that these church members traveled through time with an ancient copy of their service to display how Christians use to ‘praise’ God or something… I don’t know. It was probably considered pretty weird even back then!

Old-timey weird marching praise and worship activate!

(video via Christian Nightmares)

Sometimes, it seems to me, that when people say this cliche it has a negative connotation to it: “Yeah, I know you’re right, but that’s only because you’re making that observation after the fact.”

But is learning from the past, or even making obvious deductions from past events really a bad thing? I would contend that human beings have a wonderful gift in being able to remember and asses the past, and then use that knowledge to learn and make better decisions in the future.

I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. ~ Patrick Henry

Of course, there is always the inherent danger of obsessing over the past and living in regrets, shame, and guilt. However, I believe there is a wealth of knowledge to be gained from our past experiences, successes, and failures. Furthermore, I would like to be the sort of person who could asses my past experiences and be honest about when I failed as a person. Not obsess over those failures but take measures to insure, as best as I could, that I responded or acted better in any new situation. To me, this is a significant aspect in growing in maturity and striving to be a better person to those you interact with on a daily basis. It involves honesty, the ability to admit mistakes, and the courage to take any measures available to grow as a functioning human being.

I am married and I have a social group of friends. I know from my own experience that when my wife has identified ways in which I’m acting that are not necessarily positive for our relationship, that our marriage has dramatically improved when I have taken the appropriate steps to correct my attitude or actions. Sometimes this takes help from outside yourself and the assistance of a professional.

Re-assessing the past is also an excellent way to test theological and philosophical ‘belief’ systems. The human brain is wired to see patterns and make connections. Sometimes those patterns are false–though they will seem very real–and the connections are tenuous at best. Pat answers and advice often seem ‘right’ when every thing is going along fairly smoothly in your life.

(via Naked Pastor)

But life is random; it is chaotic.

The human experience can be characterized by joy, happiness, and laughter.Playing golf on a beautiful sunny day. A bike ride with a friend. A child running to jump into your arms when you come home. Life can have great existential fulfillment.

It can also go very wrong.

A heart attack. A cancer diagnosis. A car accident. A child runs out for a ball or is left unattended at a pool for a couple of minutes. War. Fire can kill you. Water can kill you; heck drinking too much water can kill you… there are a lot of ways to die!

Existence; and then suddenly: non-existence.

Chaos…

Shallow salesmen package ‘Sermons’, ‘Platitudes’, and ‘Principles’ offering to give a person the illusion of control, or claim to give knowledge to understand how things “really” are… but then life happens. Or maybe more appropriately: death, sickness, and chaos happen; and the illusion of control is wrenched away or the ‘understanding’ is found wanting. How could this happen? Why is God doing this to me? Why is the universe not giving me my every selfish whim and desire?

Pat answers are always shattered on the anvil of experience by the hammer of life. ~ Scott Bailey

Functionally, this experience of emotional pain or mental anguish is known as cognitive dissonance. It can be extremely difficult to experience; I know, I’ve gone through it a few times in my life. But I plead with you, when it happens don’t run away into some coping mechanism. Stop, identify the pain or confusion, take stock of some of the faulty expectations or beliefs that are causing the dissonance, and reassess and learn!

Become BETTER!

We do not want to be stuck in the past, but we certainly want to learn from it and use it to stimulate our growth as human beings and make the experience of this life a more profitable and enjoyable journey…

Perspective and hindsight are good things: learn from them and use them!

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The connection may seem illogical to some, but it was actually Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann that stimulated my thinking (inb4u: to use a term loosely!) on this matter.

Not long ago both candidates were sure that ‘God’ was leading them to run for the presidency (here’s one link, but there is much more material concerning this on the web). After becoming ‘God’s’ choice, both candidates eventually dropped out of the Republican candidacy race once it became apparent that they didn’t have a snowflakes chance in hell of winning. Perry is, let’s be honest here, an epic [insert pejorative preferably with vulgarity], and Bachmann is a bigot and very likely certifiably crazy.

But ‘God’ was leading them to run… I wonder what sort of mental gymnastics they have had to go through to harmonize that ‘belief’ with recent events? Is God an asshole and just messing with them by telling them to run? Were they wrong and misheard his ‘voice’? Did his will change?

Somehow I suspect from the characteristics they displayed in their brief stay in the public eye that they aren’t the sort of persons who openly and honestly assess their own beliefs and make changes towards becoming better people. But I could be wrong: Only time will tell! Perhaps in the future, I will have to be more confident in the abilities of persons such as these once more evidence comes in–and I hope to be the sort of person who weighs it fairly–but so far: not a whole lot of good evidence to change my mind!

The Australian Tour is currently on hold until further Notice.  Australian Immigration has denied Todd entry into the country at this time.  We are however doing everything we can to get an answer for the denied entry.  We have sent all the required documents and are awaiting approval from Australian Immigration to be allowed to come to Australia and Minister.  Please continue to stand with us as we are not giving up.

Sure, the Bentley apologists will say that this is the ‘Enemy’ blocking his path. But we know the truth: God loves Australia, and in his compassion he decided to save them from the psycholical agony and spiritual abuse they would suffer at the hands of  Todd’s ‘ministry’.

Case in point:

Now if just every country in the world would follow suit…

This video was sent to me by Davo Hynds. I’m not sure if we should thank him or not.

Davo writes

Hey,

I love your blog, and comment on it from time to time. Anyways, knowing your sick, twisted pleasure for youtube videos that mix religion and mediocre or abysmal talent, I thought you really needed to see this.

And what did he feel I should see? Merely, one of the most terrible church performances ever, and introduced with a self-aggrandizing speech of ridiculous proportions once you hear the ‘singing’:

And just in case you thought this was a one-off, or that the people in the audience only had to be tortured by one song, or that maybe he was just having one bad performance because he started off key or something:

Most reasonable comment on Youtube that describes the experience of sitting through these two videos:

I feel like somebody took a 12 gauge shotgun shell, filled it with shards of glass, and shot it into my eardrums, then poured salt water into my ear, then screamed obscenities at me with a bull horn. That’s how I feel.

Oh, and I feel violated.

Yep, that about sums it up!

And that’s part of the reason I am the way I am!

Video via

ET features a story on him, one year later.

Video from The Daily What