Biblical Authors and Theologians Answer Age Old Question
I handed in my last paper and wrote my last exam today, and frankly for the first time in months I don’t have a deadline hanging over my head. Here’s something I did as a joke at school. This has been done before but I give it a few fresh twists.
“Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?”
Kierkegaard: Just because a chicken crosses the road it does not mean he is on the other side
Tillich: The chicken had the courage to be on the other side of the road
Qohelet: Crossing the road is meaningless
Mark: Immediately the chicken crossed the road
Luther: There I stood
Hebrew writer: The LORD made his road straight.
Calvin: The chicken was predestined to cross the road (I’m sure no one saw this one coming)
Arminius: The chicken chose to cross the road (ditto above)
Descartes: I cross; therefore, I am.
Job: Consider the chicken, Were you there when it first crossed the road?
Paul of Tarsus: The chicken does not understand what it does. The chicken does not want to cross the road. It does what it does not want to do, but what it hates to do. Who will save him from this life of road-crossing?!?
Jesus: Before the chicken crossed the road: I Am
John of Patmos: This is the message we have received concerning the chicken: he has crossed the road and there is no darkness in him
MLK: The chicken had a dream of a mountain top from where he could see the other side of the road
Feminist Theologian: Typical patriarchy. I know you mean a rooster. Why can’t it be a hen?
Liberation Theologian: Because poor people were on the other side
Jim West: Lord Zwingli commanded him, “Cross!” And the dilettante chicken crossed…away from a homeschool.