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Benny Hinn Begins Defense of Worst Preacher Ever Championship Belt

November 24, 2008

While the Worst Preacher Ever II Championship: This Time It’s Historical is still months away Benny Hinn has recognized that with the likes of Marcion, Tetzel, Borgia, Zwingli, and Falwell entering the madness the task of defending is going to be very, very difficult.

Benny is not hanging his head, however, and like a true champion he continues to work hard to defend his coveted title by taking his game to a lower level.

Dear Partner,

Pastor Benny Hinn PortraitWhile news reports scream headlines of uncertainty in the world’s economy and each day brings news of financial chaos, I’m writing to tell you about a heavenly economy with infinite resources that never lose value and always reap a mighty reward. And while the world is asking, “How could this happen in our global economy?” we who trust the Word of God for truth see unparalleled opportunities and a season of great reward in our immediate future.

That is why I am more convinced than ever that, as we complete 2008 and move into 2009, how you respond to this unprecedented season of miracles during the next few weeks might very well determine what happens for you in the coming year! For as you apply the principles throughout the Word of God, you can rise above all the challenges you face during 2008!

Impossible circumstances call for unusual actions!… What about you? You may face dire circumstances, but what do you have in your hands that God can use to turn everything around?,,,

Today is a difficult season, yet God is telling His people to pour out faith, not hide it. Put it into action, regardless of the circumstances surrounding you. As you act in faith, you will see results as Isaac did in Genesis 26—from planting seed during a horrible famine to receiving a supernatural abundance—and as the widow and her sons did in 2 Kings 4, pouring out the oil and watching it multiply again and again!

Now is your time. Disregard the reports of famine, destruction, lack, and hopelessness. Your situation is not nearly as bad as Isaac’s or the widow’s were, yet they stepped out…

As you plant your most generous and precious seed today, you will be acting in faith and moving into a new dimension which Seed November Lettercan unlock the door to great blessings in your life, for our Lord Jesus declared, “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again” (Luke 6:38).

Sow your seed with mighty expectations for today and the future! Now is the time, for your greatest days are ahead. Your future is so much greater than your past and your tomorrows can be more prosperous than anything you have known before!

For we know it is “not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts” (Zechariah 4:6)…

Preaching the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ,
teaching the unchanging Word of God,
and expecting the mighty and miraculous
power of the Holy Spirit,
Pastor Benny Hinn Nov 2008

As you send your seed-gift today, claim your debt cancellation by asking for our Debt Cancellation stickers, designed exclusively for Benny Hinn Ministries partners and friends. Featuring powerful statements and verses, these stickers proclaim mighty promises for canceling your debt. Peel and place them on your correspondence, as well as on your mortgage, loan, and credit card bills as you seek God’s financial breakthrough!

If you are trying to lose some weight, or have ingested dangerous chemicals by accident, and you need to vomit all of the contents in your stomach then you can click HERE to read the entire simony letter.  Unfortunately, there is more.

“Preaching the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ…” Wow. Even Hasatan is more truthful than that. “Debt Cancellation Stickers…” Really? Really?!? There is a part of me that wants to say to people who are struggling in the current economic environment that if you give your money to Benny and things just get worse; well, you kinda deserve it.  It’s a good thing I’m more compassionate than that. 😉

This is so staggeringly stupid, such a gross distortion of the Bible, so built on the worship of Mammon, and conflated with the assumptions of twenty-first century American materialism that it beggars the intellectual faculties. Christians simply need to stop getting robbed by this man.

We are 700 years from Tetzel and yet we still need another Luther to shake the people awake from the lies of “Christian” wolves posing as sheep.

It’s not enough that Benny was robbing and stealing from people when they had excess. Almost anyone can do that (and we may have fun tracking their failures in the next few months. It has already started with the painfully comic Bishop Weekes and the painfully brutal Paula White). Nope, that wasn’t enough for Benny.

Now he’s stepping forth in a time when many may experience some hard economic difficulties to steal people’s very last penny! The unmitigated Mammonianity is shocking.

If Benny truly believed ANY of the lies that tumble out of his mouth every time he opens it he would give away all of his money and possessions today (hopefully to Scotteriology Ministries Incorporated). By his “heavenly” math and economy he would only be a hundred times richer when God canceled any debt he had, and blessed him with a hundred times more funds than he gave away.

Benny deserves the belt he so proudly wears around his waist. At this moment he truly is the very worst preacher alive.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. November 24, 2008 11:06 am

    I thought I would never understand why burning at the stake was all the rage back in the day. Now I understand completely: what a lost art.

    Pax Christi,

  2. November 24, 2008 11:09 am

    it is a lost art. good thing for scott too, since his zwingli remark would earn him a place on the post.

    [agathos: Jim, if you and the other Zwingleverians fight as good as Zwingli then I don’t have a lot to worry about. I’ll just kick all of your blessed assurances, and use the post for cookin’ sausages before I go to church and take my weekly communion!]

  3. Chris E permalink
    November 24, 2008 11:40 am

    “Religious vipers, sucking royal blood”.

  4. Jake permalink
    November 24, 2008 3:23 pm

    This blog makes me want to convert to Buddhism.

  5. November 24, 2008 4:59 pm

    Jacob,

    This is why I have been arguing so strenuously the last year that above all else we need to stop calling snake-oil salesmen like Benedictus, and their form of Mammonianity, Christianity. It is the furthest thing possible from Christianity.

    If my choice was between Benny and his love of Mammon or Buddhism I too would choose Buddhism. However, it is not. What he does is not Christianity. Our problem and confusion these days is we have allowed Christian and Christianity to become useless adjectives that describe mutually exclusive things.

    My suggestion to you is if you are going to switch religions go with the Sikhs. Short services, they eat together afterward, and the food is FANTASTIC!

  6. November 24, 2008 6:06 pm

    I wonder if the next time he comes to town – I could pretend to be crippled, and go up for prayer.

    Then when he gets close….JUNK PUNCH.

    [agathos: Junk punch… I love it! Seriously, I will pay money to you if you do this. We can’t call it a bounty, cuz then we might get in trouble. Let’s go with “love offering” to your ministry for laying on of hands.]

  7. kaydonthedinosaur permalink
    November 24, 2008 8:21 pm

    I never knew that “gospel” was a codeword for “MO’ MONEY!”

    …I think I just unlocked the secret to the Illuminati’s success and now I must go put on my tinfoil hat.

  8. Jake permalink
    November 25, 2008 8:34 am

    I think my man Biggie said it best when he said: “Mo money, mo problems.”

  9. Jake permalink
    November 25, 2008 8:38 am

    And Scott, you’re forgetting one crucial detail regarding my conversion. If I went Sikh, I’d have to wear those things on my head and grow a ridiculous amount of facial hair. And I’m not prepared to do that.

    I’m thinking of going buddhist simply for the monastic robes. They’re killer.

  10. November 25, 2008 3:24 pm

    I see a market in replacement stickers. Remember when Nat. Lampoon made the screw icon stickers that fit perfectly over hearts? Something like that, but with catchy slogans like: “Reamed by the Benster” or “I Benny’d Over and All I have to Show For It is this Stinkin’ Debt”

    You get what you pay for.

  11. November 25, 2008 5:19 pm

    Not for nothing Gandhi said, “I like your Christ. I’d follow him if weren’t for all the Christians.” Or something like that, supposedly. If he didn’t, he should have. But you really can’t blame this snake for acting like a snake. Okay, maybe blame, but it shouldn’t surprise.

    On to other news, it seems the Intrade futures market is currently showing Huldrych Zwingli at the front of the pack for WPE II. Damndest thing, since the contestants haven’t even really shaken out yet.

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