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Joel Osteen Converts to Judaism

February 26, 2009

That’s right… throw out the NT.  Forget all that crap from Paul.

Osteen sets the record straight: No pork or shellfish!  I imagine his next sermon advice after this clip was, “If you really loved the Lord then you would get circumcised because gentile penises with their flesh hats are dirty. Right Vicky?”

There is not a real seminary in all of the world that this man could graduate from… and that’s why “pastors” of his ilk get honorary “doctorates” from ORU.  Or in Osteen’s case confess no training and proudly spread ignorance.

Judaizer powers activate:


27 Comments leave one →
  1. parkersmood permalink
    February 26, 2009 4:55 pm

    wow…I am speechless! You always find the best videos.


  2. February 27, 2009 1:43 am

    This one doesn’t seem all that bad. If he really believes that pork and shellfish are unhealthy and then stops eating them in order to honour God, I really don’t see the harm in it. It doesn’t seem too different from someone deciding to be a vegetarian or eating fair trade foods in order to honour God, both of which seem like fine practices. I don’t know how this particular teaching is worked out in his community but I think the one important question is: “Are people being denied some significant role in the community because of eating habits?” If the answer is no, is there really anything wrong with this?

  3. February 27, 2009 7:12 am

    A pretty basic problem with what he’s saying is that none of the meat in the supermarkets he frequents eats anything other than ultra-processed, aptly named “animal feed”. No cow eats grass and no pig eats babies. This might have been the case back in the day when the OT was written, but it sure as hell isn’t the case any more.
    I look at pork this way: Of the Abrahamic religions, Christianity is the only one that eats pork. Eating pork is a specifically Christian thing to do! Which is why I make a point of eating it every Christmas.

  4. February 27, 2009 8:33 am

    “Back in the bible days…” ugh. I don’t know what’s more shocking, the fact that Osteen knows infinitely more and is able to teach infinitely better about a pig’s digestive system than anything in scripture or the fact that there’s a friggin stadium full of people listening to this and apparently captivated by it.

    For the life of me I don’t get it.

  5. Jake permalink
    February 27, 2009 9:01 am

    It stores toxins in its fat eh? I was going to make the point that Arni already has that our livestock is fed generic mass produced feed (which anyone who’s ever been to a feedlot can attest to). I agree that “in Bible days” (really?) this may have been a concern, but today, I would like to suggest that with all the chemical additives and preservatives in our food, that it is myself and the esteemed Mr. Osteen who have more toxins in our system.

    The difference between him and I though is that I just had a colonoscopy so he’s more full of shit…

  6. February 27, 2009 9:11 am

    Mmmmm.. Colonoscopy. I had one a couple of years ago and it was the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen on a screen. How many people have seen inside themselves? I was also very impressed by my farting afterwards.
    Thought I’d share that since we’re on the subject of shite anyway.

  7. Jake permalink
    February 27, 2009 11:35 am

    Arni, there’s a show here in Canada called Kenny vs Spenny where two best friends try and outdo each other in competitions each week. One week they tried to see who could have the biggest fart. Kenny ended up destroying the competition when he found out that by blowing air up there with a pump you could devastate an entire household….

    Yes, we’ve degenerated into talking about this on your blog Scot, but I figure it was inevitable. Share your fart stories!!! It’ll be more enlightening than listening to Osteen…

  8. February 27, 2009 3:15 pm

    Oh I didn’t see that KvsS episode. What an insane show. I love it and hate all at the same time. So great! Gotta love Canadian TV.

  9. Polycarp permalink
    February 27, 2009 3:34 pm

    Scott, you are making too big of a deal of this and not seeing what Joel is really doing.

    1.) He is reading the Bible
    2.) He is starting at the beginning.

    Just wait until he gets to Ezekiel.

  10. February 27, 2009 9:39 pm

    Did he REALLY say, “…back in the Bible days…”? Just that phrase hurt my brain so much I almost couldn’t process the rest…

    Maybe he meant, “back in the Bible daze (that I was in when I read that stuff and tried to make up a sermon around it)”!

  11. February 28, 2009 4:38 am

    I liked the “a cow basically has 3 stomachs” part.

    Is he teaching that they have evolved since bible days?

    Polycarp – nice!

  12. February 28, 2009 3:46 pm

    It’s my nature to take things too seriously sometimes…

    I think Osteen is a guy who, while misguided at times, really does want to honour God. Seems like a fine thing to try to do.

  13. Samuel Garcia permalink
    March 1, 2009 1:09 am

    WTF? Has he ever read the NT?

    Polycarp – LOL

  14. Polycarp permalink
    March 1, 2009 4:43 am

    Well, at least everyone here gets my humor!

  15. March 1, 2009 8:05 am

    Polycarp you had me chuckling for a good long time! Guess I’m more of a bible geek than even I thought!

  16. March 2, 2009 6:20 am

    I’m just wondering: why is Scott (agathos) the biblioblogger most likely to use the word “penis” in a post?

    Jake: Spenny vs Kenny sounds like that recurring show-within-a-show in South Park. What was it, like “The Terrance and Clarence Show” or some such?

  17. Jake permalink
    March 2, 2009 9:20 pm

    Terrance and Philip!!!! Oh man one of the greatest tv episodes ever was the “Terrance and Philip: Behind The Blow” ep. My favourite show within a show on South Park though has to be “Jesus And Friends” on the local cable access channel.

  18. Tim permalink
    May 31, 2009 9:21 am

    You have got to remember that Christianity derives from Judaism, Jesus was born Jewish, was raised Jewish and died as a Jew too. Christianity emerged 300 years AFTER Jesus had passed.

    Having said that, what is wrong with merging the Old and New Testaments? After all, these are all good healthy habits, and both Holy Books are based in the Ten Commandments and good.

    I know that many do not like Joel, but religion aside, and seeing it from a distance, this is a genuine man that just wants to inspire people to live better, healthier, happier lives. What is wrong with that?

  19. May 31, 2009 9:42 pm

    “You have got to remember that Christianity derives from Judaism…”

    Ummm… you may want to go have a peek at my about page there Timmy.

  20. Jake permalink
    June 1, 2009 4:52 am


  21. Eric permalink
    October 18, 2009 8:22 pm

    Well I don’t wanna read all this but I have read some of your blogs and my simple opinion of Joel Osteeen is he is full of shit and is scum.. He may think he talks the word of ‘god’ but he is more of just a positive attitude preacher.. As a non believer I see it as me just feeling bad for all these people giving all this money for something that is bullshit but thats business and Joel Osteen sure has ran his well. To me he is like a guy that couldn’t make it in the heartless corporations because he felt like he was doing wrong against people but now he has got himself so wrapped up in religion that he is doing good when in my eyes he basically has a open opportunity to these peoples pockets.

    Open Topic- People can say what they want to say but I seriously doubt god gives a fuck if you eat pork or shellfish.

    Its odd how people that believe in this ‘almighty god’ all of a sudden think they know what he wants or what he needs or what his words mean. If the bible is the word of such a god it and ONLY it should speak for itself not a crooked preacher manipulated by the greed of man.

    I don’t believe in god but I know if I did I would not be trying to put anything in the bible in my own words or “i think this is what he meant” because if he meant that he’d said it. You take it as what it is or its becomes not his word its the word of a man that wants power and is using religion to gain that power.

  22. Eric permalink
    October 18, 2009 8:23 pm

    I meant On topic* not open topic i didn’t really read over my post before posting

  23. Brad permalink
    February 5, 2010 11:42 pm

    This teaching appears to go againt the bible. It clearly states pork and all other “filthy” creatures are good for us to eat.

    7-10″Then I heard a voice: ‘Go to it, Peter—kill and eat.’ I said, ‘Oh, no, Master. I’ve never so much as tasted food that wasn’t kosher.’ The voice spoke again: ‘If God says it’s okay, it’s okay.’ This happened three times, and then the blanket was pulled back up into the sky.

    • Michael permalink
      July 28, 2012 5:21 pm

      You need to stop listening to preachers and read your scripture. You took acts out of text. is was not about clean an unclean meats, it was about accepting gentiles as kosher. Not wether or not you can eat a walking vacuum clean called the pig. Read Peter’s words again. ” I’ve never so much as tasted food that wasn’t kosher.” That’s because he was never told to eat that stuff that is still to this day considered non-kosher…..

  24. May 9, 2012 5:16 pm

    Good for him. Jesus made it clear enough that the entire Torah would remain in place. Peter uprooted this on the basis of a dream. A dream!!! The revelation at Sinai and the word of his teacher was dismissed on the basis of something so minimal… None of the prophets ever built anything of this sort upon a dream. The Judaizers, in many ways, had it right. Unfortunately for them, their message didn’t appeal to Jews, who had a better understanding of messianic prophecy than the folks who were being approached by Paul.

    Oh well, It is nice to see somebody giving them their props.


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