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Just So You Know That I’m A Prophet: Bentley’s Back

June 23, 2009

Clearly, there were a LOT of false prophets involved with Lakeland concerning their “prophecies” about Todd Bentley. On the other hand, in looking back, I got some sort of crazy prophetic skills. You can start sending me money right away, or you can start to dream with your eyes wide open and receive your bountiful harvest by seeding into the ministry… wait, make that prophetic ministry of Scotteriology (tab at the top of the page!).

Sometime back in September I wrote:

His fan club doesn’t have quite the same amount of members as it did at the beginning of the summer, and it is truly astounding to watch the Neo-Montanist leaders distance themselves from Bentley faster that you can say “Gold dust from the Third heaven.” I still can’t believe that “prophets” such as Wagner, Sheets, and Patricia King still have anyone in the entire world even begin to take them seriously after their “prophecies” over Bentley at Lakeland. Liars leading fools.

I still say Bentley will be back. It may not be this week, or this year, or even two years but he’ll be back.

The biggest reason the Neo-Montanists are distancing themselves from Todd at  this moment is because right now Bentley is bad for business. No other reason, plain and simple, he’s bad for business. This is seen in their statements over “concerns” they had with his teaching before the negative revelations concerning him, but… there were signs and wonders. Anyways, if anything, Bentley is good at what he does (which is why he has gone so far in this competition), and what he does is myth-telling that manipulates herd mentality that desperately needs a metanarrative to indulge its gross egocentrism. It’s not right, but he is excellent at it. All Todd needs to do is make himself financially viable again and he will be embraced with open arms.

It's going to be a quiet year...

There will be some posturing, but if he claims that “The Spirit of Adultery” is broken in his life and can “perform” some miracles–that is make himself financially viable to others–then he will eventually be welcomed back. Liars leading fools are not very discerning groups.


Well, he’s back in ministry. Hip, hip, hooray.

Todd has officially marked his “restoration”, and the launching of his new ministry by starting Fresh Fire USA. The exciting element for me with the launch of the new site is that it appears Todd will once again be publishing his writings on the site. It was very disappointing when they took his writings off of the Fresh Fire Canada site as they are an absolute comedic goldmine. Now, when I don’t have anything for the blog, or I’m in a bad mood, I can read Todd’s writings and have material for a BS carnival, or just some great humour to lift my spirits.

Also, if you can stand the agony, there are a number of videos featuring Rick Joyner and Todd discussing “theology” and Todd’s “restoration” process.

Just a quick note to all of the American readers: If you go watch the videos no one else in Canada talks like Todd. “He just-uh adopts-uh this weird televangelist-uh way of talking-uh when he is trying to rape-uh the sheeple-uh.”

Semi-phenomenal prophetic powers activate!

13 Comments leave one →
  1. June 23, 2009 9:32 am

    Ha! I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry that people actually buy the crap that spews forth from Todd Bentley’s mouth.

  2. Jim permalink
    June 23, 2009 9:45 am

    im shocked! peter kirk hasn’t commented yet spouting his love for the heretic! im just SHOCKED!!!!!!

  3. June 23, 2009 9:51 am

    I wonder where he’ll set up his next tent meeting.

    Lake(land) of (Fresh)Fire ministries just worked so well.

    Could be a whole different event for Todd too. The economy was great last time he was infamous. Now things are bad. Why just the other day, Benny said that if I didn’t send him a bunch of money in faith and seed – he may not be able to take his private jet overseas for a healing revival.

    • June 23, 2009 10:19 pm

      “Lake(land) of (Fresh)Fire ministries just worked so well.”

      Well done. 😉

  4. June 23, 2009 9:53 am

    You forgot one element with Peter though Jim. It’s not just his lust for Todd–though he certainly comments enough concerning that–but it’s also his constant threats of libel suits from either him or Todd.

  5. June 23, 2009 9:57 am

    I wonder if he thought it was wise to use the metaphor of ‘pitching tents’ in his letter of restoration.

  6. June 23, 2009 11:07 am

    Wow, great news!

    I can already envision the droves of stage four colon cancer patients queuing up to be kicked in the gut healed by Bentley!

  7. mikekendall permalink
    June 23, 2009 11:39 am

    To Todd Bentley and all who support him- Peter spoke of you.
    2 Peter 2:13-22
    13They will be paid back with harm for the harm they have done. Their idea of pleasure is to carouse in broad daylight. They are blots and blemishes, reveling in their pleasures while they feast with you. 14With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed—an accursed brood! 15They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of Balaam son of Beor, who loved the wages of wickedness. 16But he was rebuked for his wrongdoing by a donkey—a beast without speech—who spoke with a man’s voice and restrained the prophet’s madness.
    17These men are springs without water and mists driven by a storm. Blackest darkness is reserved for them. 18For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of sinful human nature, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. 19They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. 20If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. 21It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. 22Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit” ,and, “A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud.”

    By the way if you are a follower of Bentley then what you just read is from the BIBLE…try reading yours sometime so that your hearts may be opened.

  8. Rick Hiebert permalink
    June 23, 2009 3:01 pm

    He comes from the part of Gibsons B.C. that is located in Texas. 🙂
    Seriously, he’s attributed that accent to how he breathes when on stage. FWIW, I suspect, however, that he’s heard a lot of U.S. preachers and naturally adopted their cadence (if only accidentally) as how “real” preachers speak…

  9. James permalink
    June 23, 2009 4:04 pm

    Hmm, “Divine Restorative Dividends” indeed.

  10. June 23, 2009 5:42 pm

    That accent sent my BS-o-meter spinning the first time I heard it. Then he started justifying the accent so I turned him off and haven’t looked back.

  11. June 26, 2009 5:09 pm

    just letting you all know that I, a pastor in the Assemblies of God, also am not in anyway supportive of Bentley’s Lake(land) of (Fresh)Fire Ministries any more than any of you are. I watched some of the videos and they were horrendous – especially his comment about being commissioned to a healing ministry by an angelic messenger. My wife said it well, – that’s NEW AGE thinking. It’s also highly Gnostic in it’s thinking. It’s definitely not Biblical.


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