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Jesus vs Mary XIII: Mary “Flushes” Jesus

August 20, 2009

As regular readers of Scotteriology know Mary and Jesus have been involved in a contest of publicly appearing in a variety of items. For a long while it seemed that Mary had the upper hand until recently when Jesus seemed to turn the tables on her with some dirty pool by making the image of his own mother appear in some bird poop. Jesus followed that by appearing in an MRI; thereby, once-and-for-all ending the debate on whether he “actually” lives inside a person.

Clearly, the gloves were off, and for the first time in a long time Jesus appeared to be in firm control of the contest between he and his mother.

Jesus may want those gloves to be put back on because Mary has come out swinging for a knockout using Jesus’ tactic against him by faking an appearance of Jesus in a place he would never, ever, ever choose for himself.

With her attack documented in the video Mary has shown an uncharacteristic savage side.

First, the location Mary chose to fake this appearance in is occupied by a woman named Magdalena. She could have faked the appearance at a place by someone named Sue, Tracy, or Gayle; but no, she intentionally made Jesus appear at “Magdalena’s”. The obvious biblical correlation? Mary Magdalene. So Jesus is appearing at the house of someone named after a whore.

But there’s more.

Second, not only did she fake Jesus’ appearance at a harlot’s, but in the bathroom, and not just any bathroom either, not the nice bathroom that’s all flowery and stuff, but the other bathroom: the one that is a veritable add for Las Vegas and decorated in Vegas “cheese-ball style.” Seriously, what are the odds of that? That a “Magdalene” would have a bathroom decorated with Vegas stuff? You know what the nickname for Vegas is right?

Sin City!!!

So here’s a faked Jesus appearance in the bathroom of a house decorated to celebrate sin that is occupied by someone named after a whore.

But there’s still more.

Lastly, and assuredly most cruelly, there were so many places in the sin city of the whore’s bathroom that Mary could have chosen to place Jesus’ image: a towel, the soap, the bathtub, the ceiling, the sink. Surely, this bathroom was already a bad enough place as it was… but no. There was one more indignity for Jesus to suffer. Mary caused the appearance to happen… in the toilet!

Who the Sheol does that?!?

The contest may getting to a point where Big Poppa has to step in and put an end to all appearances for awhile, because literally, this is the unholy trinity of faked appearances: at the whore’s house, in the sin bathroom, inside the toilet.

I mean really: why doesn’t she just kick Jesus in the junk while she’s at it?

At this point the contest might be too close to call. Seeing as this was a 10-8 round for Mary with the savage knockdown I’m going to give her the slight advantage.

As always, my prayer (especially with this thing getting scatological and all):  Jesus and Mary should you decide to ever bring your contest to my household:  Please, reveal yourself to me in a non-perishable item of great value!  A very large chunk of gold would be preferred, or a softball sized diamond.  I’ll let you decide.  Amen.

HT: Nicola for sending this along to me

2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 20, 2009 7:15 am

    I’m not sure how I feel about Jesus watching me take a poo.

  2. August 24, 2009 2:47 pm

    Michael: You mean he CAN????? Wow…is that what that whole “omnipresent” thing is about?

    Who knew…

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