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Christmas: The Only Present Mary Wants Is From God

December 23, 2009

Yesterday we had Father Gleason encouraging poor members to shoplift. Today we have Glynn Cardy who thought it would be a good idea to put up a billboard outside of his church depicting a downtrodden Joseph following  an unfulfilling sexual encounter, as Mary looks longingly towards heaven, reminiscing about that one night with God, pining for more.

I know there has been a lot of “worst” things around here: worst worship song, worst sermon, and worst pastor; some of these have even been downgraded once in a while, so we have had a lowering of the bar in worship songs. However, it is hard for me to imagine a church putting up a bill-board more ill-conceived than this:

I just… what?… you can’t… really… what?… words fail, they utterly fail.

Church vicar Archdeacon Glynn Cardy said the billboard was intended to challenge stereotypes about the way Jesus was conceived and get people talking about the Christmas story.

“This billboard is trying to lampoon and ridicule the very literal idea that God is a male and somehow this male God impregnated Mary,” said Cardy, who described his church as having very liberal ideas about Christianity.

“We would question the Virgin Birth in any literal sense. We would question the maleness of God in any literal sense,” he said.

Read: HERE

How old is Glynn? Fifteen? Ask your questions, but really? God hit it and quit it so well that Mary is still pining for some more action while Joseph sulks ’cause he can’t measure up?

Is there really anyone in any sort of sane Christianity that posits that God took out his male penis (circumcised of course) and inserted it into Mary and had sex with her? What’s next? Will Archdeacon Glynn Cardy suggest it was  three way because Gabriel said to Mary, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you”?

Glynn, I’m all for BBQ’ing some sacred cows; I think really hard questions should be asked of the text, but this is not well played… not well played at all. I give you an F+. You get the plus for Mary’s head covering that matches the bed set. ‘Cause as everyone knows no self-respecting Jewish woman would go to bed for a sexual encounter unless she matched.

What is happening that suddenly the Christmas season is time for sermons concerning stealing and sex? Not sure those are high on the season’s values and virtues. What about love? Generosity? Devotion? Faith? Hope? Family? That’s a pretty wide net. You can cover a wide and varied number of topics with those without resorting to infantile speculative topic openers.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Jim permalink
    December 23, 2009 10:23 am

    the guy’s a perv with the mental acuity of a 12 year old.

  2. December 23, 2009 10:55 am

    Does that extend to the carpet matching the drapes as well? Just wondering. 😉

  3. December 23, 2009 3:10 pm

    Aw come on… I mean sure, it’s a stretch from the typical messages at Christmas, Cardy may be taking things way too seriously… but that billboard is funny.

  4. No Joke permalink
    December 23, 2009 7:03 pm

    You wrote:

    “more ill-conceived than this”?

    Was that meant to be a pun?

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