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Worst Profit-ess Ever

February 28, 2010

Here’s a video from December 4, 2008 that kicks offf a 12 part “prophetic” series on 2009. The person in the video, Patricia King, leads an organization called Extreme Prophetic. They’re part of the whole Morningstar, NAR, IHOP, version of Christianity (0.5 %? probably less?) that is an embarrassment to the human race as a whole and Christianity in particular.

Anyways, King claims that every year around Rosh haShanah “God visits” her and “downloads” to her 12 directives, because God will always give his church insight before he does something. Apparently, for 2009 the first directive was that it was going to be the year of the upgrade to business class. Someone from King’s staff might want to inform her how “business” did in 2009 and remove this video from her channel.

UPDATE: Huh, what do you know. Removing this video is exactly what this false prophet has done. It should be shown to every follower she still has so they can be saved from getting conned out of their money. This lady is a snake-oil, con-artist fake.

That  aside what I really enjoyed was King’s opening salvo: “I have to deliver this specific word…” Now I’m not sure about you guys but when someone tells me there are going to be specific, I’m usually waiting for some… oh, I don’t know… specificity!

King starts, “There’s someone watching going through a devastating time in your life, it’s been going on for a while; maybe a couple of years or more…” Maybe a couple of years. That’s not very specific profit-ess. Let’s see where this goes.

She continues, “You’re fairly young? Probably under forty…” Fairly? Probably? I’m sensing less and less confidence in the download…

King then declares, “You’re feeling like you’re at the end of your rope and you just want to blow all caution to the wind, and you want to go out and just do whatever…” Just go out and do “Whatever.” Whatever? Really? “Whatever” kind of specificity is that?

To bring her prophecy all together King concludes, “You’re a married person who could be in the danger of an inappropriate relationship…” What? OK, at least she said married, so that excludes some people, but, “could be” in danger leaves us with every single married person!

So we have someone going through a bad time, maybe a couple of years, who is  probably under forty, who wants to go out and do whatever, and could be in danger of an inappropriate relationship. Wow. How anybody could listen to such shite and then be even mildly convinced (or interested) of any of the words that come from her mouth afterward is… at this point I don’t even know the right word. I would be interested how Patricia would do under psychological evaluation. I’m guessing her visitations and downloads would suggest the need for medication; especially, with all of the specificity they have!

God is doing something, somewhere, somehow, and with somebody. Are you all creeped out at my awesome prophetic powers?

Start sending me money!

6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 28, 2010 9:59 am

    Not sure if you are aware of the Vineyard connection to the prophetic movement (of which Pat Cocking is an inheritor). It was not pretty, and it ended in the Vineyard distancing ourselves from such things. All that to say that I’ve been around this stuff a lot. I really enjoyed the early prophetic conferences at the Toronto Airport Church – until they started bringing in folks from the prophetic movement. I remember really being mad at how dismissive Mike Bickle was to Steve Wit, Wit’s offence – he was suggesting that the prophetic isn’t a role for special people at special times but really something that is part of a Christian Spirituality that we all partake in. And Wit really wasn’t trying to save any privileged role he had assumed in the church.

    Be that as it may. What really bugged me was not the lack of specificity, but the way that they intentionally cast a wide net and then offered the promise of ministry (fame). I can’t tell you how many times folks have prayed big ministry callings over me and my friends. It got ridiculous after a while. But to me it is about securing your place – giving people what they want to hear. If she was specific (if she could be) then probably she would be taken less seriously, but this is a tactic – by casting a wide net you will feel like this speaks to you or someone you know. If you buy that then she has your attention for the rest of it. (BTW I stopped listening not long into this, it sounds formulaic to me.)

    I actually run prophetic workshops. But I usually start with things like, never say thus saith the Lord and never give people directives even if you are convinced God is telling you this about that person, etc. I’m vary wary of how wacky it can get, but refuse to let that rob us of something I think is part of Christian spirituality even though it happens more in ways we don’t recognize was prophecy.

  2. February 28, 2010 11:14 am

    I love the equating of OT prophets with modern-day “prophets” (hucksters) such as herself.

  3. February 28, 2010 3:45 pm

    how come guys like her are trustworthy and influential ?

  4. Jake permalink
    February 28, 2010 5:02 pm

    “Cold Reading” is a brilliant psychological and sociological tool used successfully by people that are, unfortunately, truly brilliant at what they do.

    Watch an episode of South Park called: “Biggest Douche In The Universe”.

  5. March 1, 2010 4:52 pm

    “God is doing something, somewhere, somehow, and with somebody.”

    You NAILED it.

    I think we should start a scam Evangelical “ministry”, and just see how much money we can make. We could make a documentary about it too.

    Actually, that’s kind of smart. ha

  6. Jon H permalink
    April 25, 2010 3:44 am

    “God told me… somewhere a wave function is collapsing”

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