CMMI Championship: New Mystics vs Cancer Pastor
Cinderella vs The Juggernaut… The Finals: It’s here!
I believe there were a few regulars that predicted this final, and thank God it’s here because I don’t think my soul could take much more insanity, but there was so much stiff competition there was no guarantee that either would make it. However, here we are: the worst of the worst. The absolute bottom of the barrel. Even The Hokey Pokey dudes can point and say, “At least I’m not those guys!”
We shall keep the introductions brief. Their reputations precede them. If you need a tale of the tape, past contests will give you all of the relevant info you need. Unfortunately, the regulars are probably a little too familiar with these guys already for their own sanity and serenity. One more vote, and then we might need some good, clinical biblical studies for awhile to give our souls and psyches a rest.
In this corner…
The New Mystics
The New Mystics have been on fire and are the Cinderella story of this tournament with three monumental upsets.
Round one: vs Rappin’ Pastor
Quarter-finals: vs Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey
Semi-Finals: vs Crazy Julie
Perhaps if I had seen this video and realized they had a professional wrestling background I would have ranked them higher (with “higher” standing as a double entendre!).
Wow. A staggering combination from the New Mystics with power shot after power shot. Cancer Pastor better strap on his oxygen tank and make one heck of a comeback… cue the Rocky music.
Round One: vs Morningstar Madness
Quarter-Finals: vs Creepiest Worship Ever
Semi-Finals: vs Christian Side-Hug
What more about The Goog can be said here that has not already been said? The sheer psychological trauma and insanity of his preying on the emotionalism of his audience is near impossible to quantify. Add in those who defend him, and we take a trip towards crazy-land that I never want to take again!
I’ve seen The Goog in action for awhile now, and no matter how many times I see him “perform” with his oxygen tube I am shocked and stupified. I just can’t imagine the balls and guile it would take to get up on stage, emotionally charge a reading from Isaiah, and sing that song while hooked up to an oxygen tube. Stunning!
Then to blame it all on porn… I just. Wow.