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I Hope This ‘Marriage’ Wasn’t Consummated!

May 3, 2010

German man ‘marries’ his dying cat

A German man has unofficially married his cat after the animal fell ill and vets told him it might not live much longer, Bild newspaper reports.

It says Uwe Mitzscherlich, 39, paid an actress 300 euros (£260,$395) to officiate at the ceremony, as marrying an animal is illegal in Germany.

Mr Mitzscherlich said he had wanted to tie the knot before his asthmatic cat Cecilia died.

The cat and groom have lived together for 10 years.

“Cecilia is such a trusting creature. We cuddle all the time and she has always slept in my bed,” Mr Mitzscherlich, a postman from the eastern town of Possendorf, told Bild.

Actress Christin-Maria Lohri, who officiated the ceremony, was quoted as saying: “At first I thought it was a joke. But for Mr Mitzscherlich it’s a dream come true”.

via: HERE

Well, I guess that some of the conservative fundamentalists who were concerned that if we let the ‘ghays’ get married it would lead to bestiality will have a field day with this one… I’m not really too concerned about that.

But dude? You married your cat! Really?

Really, really?

“But for Mr Mitzscherlich it’s a dream come true”… Wow.

I think we may have a major league example of cathexis here. When you marry your cat as a “dream come true” you have taken cathecting to a level where the rest of us just sit back and just say, “damn!”

Digression: the domestic house cat is not mentioned in the Bible… and now they are marrying people!

Next week on Jack Van Impe presents? House cat marriage proves we are in the end times.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. Jon H permalink
    May 3, 2010 11:59 am

    I bet the Germans have a word for this.

  2. May 3, 2010 1:04 pm

    Anglos have a word for it too.

    Catastrophe!

    It works in so many ways.

  3. Jake permalink
    May 3, 2010 1:55 pm

    I have tonnes of words for this. None of which are appropriate even for the Internet.

  4. May 4, 2010 8:12 am

    Ewwwww. In the words of Abby from “The Truth About Cats and Dogs” We can love our pets, we just can’t LOVE our pets.

  5. May 4, 2010 9:21 am

    So that’s what they meant when they said, “She had some great pu–” Nevermind…

  6. May 4, 2010 9:56 am

    I say, live and let live. So the guy’s “marrying” his cat. He’s a postal worker. Those guys snap and shoot up the post office, Denny’s, and what have you.

    If his relatively mild brand of crazy tells him true love involves a little occasional cattilingus, so be it. Who are we craven to criticize?

    Let us not mire ourselves in pussyllanimity, as young Uwe has not, but live as boldly! This is truly a catthartic moment, people. Here is an opportunity for this generation to be given a place at the saucer of social influence; to stand up and be catnipped; to let the world know with one voice that we are done kitteng around!

  7. Jake permalink
    May 4, 2010 12:12 pm

    You sir, are a king among men.

  8. Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
    May 4, 2010 1:52 pm

    Somebody please tell me this guy’s NOT connected with the Fandom.

    Somebody please tell me this guy’s NOT showing up at Eurofurence or Anthrocon…

  9. Steve Wiggins permalink
    May 5, 2010 11:14 am

    Next thing you know cats will be writing commentaries on the Bible…

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