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Christian Music: A New Low

July 27, 2010

Someday, maybe, I can stop putting up posts that are the “worst” of Christian music, or set new “lows,” however, today is not that day.

I’m sure there was a context for this video. Maybe it’s for kids… I don’t know. But I do know there were a few stages of development to go through for us to see this. The original idea, writing the song, painting the face, filming the video, processing the video, and finally, for some god-forsaken reason, uploading it to YouTube.

The concept and lyrics are so stupid it actually defies any sort of logic. The personified dog is on a righteous path to glory and will stop at all the corners to look both ways and would read the Bible if it could read and the living water of the book it can’t read soothes its soul…

Seriously, we could deconstruct this thing forever. So let’s make it simple. I just asked my eight-year-old daughter to watch the video. After the first chorus she asked me, “Dad, do I have to keep watching this?” “Why, honey?” I responded “you don’t like this?”

Her reply. Two short words: “He’s horrid”

From the lips of babes!

Like a dog looks to its master
I will turn my eyes to Jesus
With devotion in my footsteps
I will follow where He leads me
Down a righteous path to glory
In this world of sin and trouble
There’s a promise that I’m after
And it’s better than a bone

I will walk beside still waters
With the leash of Love around me
I will dance amongst the flowers
In fair pastures far and wide
I will stop at all the corners
Look both ways before I venture
And when my soul is awakened
I will fetch the cherished prize

Glory, glory
Glory, glory
Praise His name

If I could read
I’d read the Bible
‘Cause its words are full of water
It’s a water that is living
And it’s soothing to my soul
But for now I’ll just be thankful
And I’ll praise Him for his blessings
‘Cause His love and grace and mercy
Is alive and keeps me whole

Glory, glory
Glory, glory
Praise His name


11 Comments leave one →
  1. phil_style permalink
    July 27, 2010 9:52 am

    …since when did people think that “christian-esque” lyrics was an excuse to produce crap art…. what ever happened to musicianship? Johann sebastian would be horrified too.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
      July 28, 2010 8:47 am

      …since when did people think that “christian-esque” lyrics was an excuse to produce crap art….

      Ever stepped into a Jesus Junk store in, oh, the past twenty years?

      All the “Just like Last Year’s Fad, Except CHRISTIAN(TM)!” cheezy knockoffs?

  2. Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
    July 27, 2010 9:56 am

    This would be seriously lame even in Furry Fandom. Might fly as a comedy act at Furry Night Live at FC or the AnthroCon masquerade, but he’d need a better fursuit than just the facepaint job.

    The only thing I can compare it to is something about a Christian puppet show some 30 years ago, where all the critter puppets went on about “We don’t have souls, but we still Love Jeesus!”

    “Howl-le-lu-ya”? That’s even beyond “Alstonism”, that’s the sort of Clever Furry Pun you find in REALLY bad Furry fiction.

    I think “Gimme that Christian Side Hug” and “Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey” have serious competition. And this one is FURRY, to boot!

  3. July 27, 2010 10:20 am


  4. Jon H permalink
    July 27, 2010 11:21 am

    Dr. Moreau went to Bible College?

  5. July 27, 2010 1:45 pm

    I stopped a song by The Chariot to check this video out–bad decision (as usual!)!

  6. EricW permalink
    July 27, 2010 1:56 pm

    A worship song by a dog? I guess this singing mutt goes to this church:

    27 July 2010
    Last updated at 06:57 ET

    Canadian priest sorry for giving dog Holy Communion

    A priest in Canada has apologised after giving Holy Communion to a dog.

  7. Eric Hinkle permalink
    July 27, 2010 3:40 pm

    Any chnace this video is from some troll who thinks he’s being funny?

    • Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
      July 28, 2010 8:49 am

      Hard to tell the difference between trolls and True Believers these days.

      Maybe he heard about Those Furries from CSI or Vanity Fair and did the video to Witness(TM) to them.

  8. July 27, 2010 8:29 pm

    Well, there’s this:
    …and he sounds really good. And wait, he will be performing in my home town this week!

    Same guy? The google is kind of messed up because all you get is the dogs of glory video everywhere…

  9. July 27, 2010 9:10 pm

    I feel like my life has been changed by watching that video.

    It’s probably going to take years of intense therapy to change it back.

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