Getting Jiggy With Your Bible
Well if we haven’t had enough adventures in missing the point lately with the Jesus is my boyfriend song movement along comes a ‘theology’ that is so infantile, ignorant, and immature it’s hard to even begin to get one’s mind around the staggering stupidity.
“Dr.” Jack Schaap has written a book, Marriage: The Divine Intimacy. Something tells me his title is honorific or from Liberty University because… well… just read this:
Psalm 119:30 says, ‘I have chosen the way of truth: thy judgments have I laid before me.’ That word laid is a sexual term which literally means the same thing as a man laying with a woman. God was saying that God’s laws should be as intimate as a marriage partner in a sexual liason.
In the next verse, David gets more graphic. ‘I have stuck unto thy testimonies: O LORD, put me not to shame.’ That word stuck means ‘the act of a man entering his wife’; it is sexual intercourse. God says that the Word of God should be the Christian’s lover, and nothing should be closer to him than the Bible. The Words of God are supposed to be the most intimate lover of his life.”
– Dr. Jack Schaap, “Marriage: The Divine Intimacy“, p. 50.
I guess we’ll have to amend Jesus’ words: “For this reason, a man shall leave his mother and father, and do it with his Bible.”
My suggestion? Watch out for paper cuts!
One would hope that the insanity would end there right? Nope. No such luck. Along comes good old Steven L. Anderson. You remember him: tazed by the Arizona officials, and preacher of several of the most offensive and ignorant sermons in the history of mankind including the Pisseth Against the Wall, and Jesus Didn’t Wear No Dress craziness.
Steven is going to take Schaap to task for his interpretation. Anderson, in an uncharacteristic manner, begins his argument with a brief moment of lucidity, “This is the most disgusting blasphemy I have ever heard out of the mouth of a Baptist preacher.Dr. Schaap’s use of the word “intimacy” is not what is blasphemous. What is blasphemous is his twisting the word of God into a sexual connotation where none exists.”
At this point I’m almost a little worried. I sort of agree with Anderson, and he seems semi-coherent. Surely the world is coming to an end! Fortunately, Steven goes on to explain why he disagrees with Schaap’s understanding of Psalm 119.
Do you honestly believe that when David said, “Thy judgments have I laid before me,” that he was referring to sex? Dr. Schaap here is twisting the English language. The word “lay” (present tense) is never used to refer to sex. The word “lie” (present tense) is what God uses to refer to sex. While the past perfect
of the word “lie” is “lay” (see 1 Samuel 2:22), they are two completely different words. The word “lie” is intransitive, and the word “lay” is transitive.
The past participle of lie IS NOT LAID! The past participle of lie is LAIN!
Dr Schaap is a very smart man, and I doubt that he does not know this basic knowledge of English grammar. Therefore he is either intentionally being misleading as to the English term, or he believes that KJV is wrong in its usage of the word “laid” as opposed to “lain.” (This would be preposterous since the
sentence in Psalm 119:30 is transitive.)
Wow. I’m not even sure what to say to that. The logic is… something.
Let me give you a hand Steven because the solution is real easy: the word used by the author of this Psalm is שׁוה and it doesn’t have sexual connotations(though your gymnastics with English grammar and the word lay was ‘special’), that and, you know, the little fact Dr. Schaap wants to have sex with a book. Just some small indicators you could use to make some simpler, but yet, just as effective arguments.
I hope whatever Schaap and Anderson have (lots of stupid!) isn’t contagious because I’m supposed to be writing coherent material over the next few days.
(HT: Stuff Fundies Like)