The current most prolific commenter at Scotteriology sent me this via email yesterday.
Headless Unicorn Guy here.
This from local morning drive-time radio:
In Kentucky, Tea Party Candidate Rand Paul (son of Ron Paul) was pulling well ahead of his opponent in the race for the Senate. This week, his opponent started running a last-minute attack ad tailored for what Internet Monk called “Kentucky Mountain Religion.” The drive-time guy had to keep repeating “This is not from Saturday Night Live. This ad is REAL.”
Goes like this, in a real Ominous Voice:
“Why did Rand Paul belong to a Secret Society that called the Holy Bible a hoax?”
“That was banned for mocking Christianity and Christ?”
“Why did Rand Paul tie up a woman and force her to bow before the False God ‘Aqua-Buddha’?”
(There was more, but after “Aqua-Buddha” I had to reset my head’s circuit breakers. Especially when the radio wags started speculating on who — or what — “Aqua-Buddha” had to be.)
Here’s the original campaign attack ad:
The next day some more came out — the “Secret Society” was an underground frat (here, a half-baked cross between Animal House and the Discordian Society) and “Aqua-Buddha” was the local slang for a bong; “bowing before Aqua-Buddha” must have meant getting high. This was around 1980, when “Vitamin-M” was joining “Vitamin-A” in the Four Basic Frat Brother Food Groups. Apparently Rand and the NoZes either ran with the stoners or were Dubya Bush-level party animals. It was a strict Baptist college, BTW.
Now what struck me was how this attack ad used all the Christianese buzzwords associated with Satanic Panic/Conspiracy Theory Paranoia. “Secret Society (TM) that called the Holy Bible a hoax”; “banned for Mocking Christianity And Christ (TM)”; “forced her to Bow Before A False Idol (TM)”; “his God (TM) Was AQUA-BUDDHA”; “against Faith Based Initiatives (TM)”. All calculated in that buckle-on-the-Bible-Belt state to push the Satanic Panic buttons.
The next night, the two Senate candidates were in a televised debate. Conroy (the opponent, currently Kentucky’s Attorney General) kept pounding on “AQUA-BUDDHA! AQUA-BUDDHA! AQUA-BUDDHA!” the whole debate through. I think the guy was desperate.
As a Canadian, I can only say, “What the Sheol is going on in America?!?” When one person has to begin her campaign defense with, “I’m not a witch,” and another is attacked for making someone bow down to Aqua-Buddha then I think we can all safely agree that the point of running and holding political office (for the people?) has officially been lost.