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Weakest Premise Ever?

November 16, 2010

Or alternatively titled: How To Kill Jim West In an Apoplectic Rage.

Look at the cover of this book:

The title and the crosses at the bottom of the cover obviously suggest the events around the death of Jesus. But who is that at the top?

Judas?

The Devil?

No. It’s a vampire.

According to the Amazon product description:

Jerusalem, 33 A.D. The vampires of the era have long sought to gain a foothold into Israel, but the faith of the local Jewish population has held them in check for centuries.

When one of their own betrays them to follow a strange young rabbi from Galilee, the elders of the vampire race dispatch Theron, a nine hundred year old assassin, to kill them both.

The rabbi’s name is Jesus. Killing him should be easy.

There’s been a whole lot of dilettante on display here at Scotteriology. I’m not sure this can be topped.

(via)

11 Comments leave one →
  1. Jon H permalink
    November 16, 2010 7:12 pm

    “There’s been a whole lot of dilettante on display here at Scotteriology. I’m not sure this can be topped.”

    At least this is straight forwardly fiction.

  2. Grant permalink
    November 16, 2010 8:24 pm

    Yeah but Jesus has risen from the grave and is after your soul

  3. WenatcheeTheHatchet permalink
    November 16, 2010 10:07 pm

    Is this supposed to be a reversed set of plotpoints for Dracula 2000?

  4. November 17, 2010 7:44 am

    Connecting vampire mythology to the Christ event is not new. IIRC that is the premise for White Wolf Game’s Vampire the Masquerade. Interesting tidbit about that gaming company – the Landover Baptist Church (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/) was originally created by them to denounce one of their apocalyptic role playing games. Brilliant strategy and since then Landover has become an entity all its own.

    I’ve never played any of the Storyteller system games (White Wolf) but I do enjoy the movies that fall out of this genre (Underworld).

  5. November 17, 2010 7:53 am

    There used to be an (old school, paper-and-dice) RPG — the name escapes my memory just now — where you could play any of a number of horror film-type monsters (vampires, wights, ghosts, daemons, etc). One of the major NPCs was a several-thousand-year-old-vampire named Golgotha who converted to Christianity when he witnessed Christ’s crucifixion. In the game’s present time, he was the proprietor of a “bar” for the undead (out of the back of a blood bank, I think). Anyway, sounds like Mr. McAfee may have been the other guy who played that game…

    Night Life, I think is what it was called.

    BTW, Scott, have you seen a href=”http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=11&articleid=20101114_11_A12_CUTLIN105145″>this? That’s what you call poetry.

  6. November 17, 2010 7:55 am

    Let’s try this again: link

    Stoopid brackets….

  7. Genre identifier permalink
    November 17, 2010 9:40 am

    Erm . . . it’s FICTION, Scott.

    • November 18, 2010 7:06 pm

      Erm…does FICTION need a premise?

  8. Jon P permalink
    November 17, 2010 1:29 pm

    Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. Seen it lately?: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311361/

    • Jake permalink
      November 17, 2010 4:25 pm

      Sadly, yes.

  9. Nicola permalink
    November 18, 2010 12:49 am

    Move over Stephanie Meyer, here come David McAfee!

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