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How To Be Instantly Dumb: Just Add Discernment

January 11, 2011


2 large cups of God is angry

3 dashes of He wants to kill and maim

2 tablespoons of everything is His fault

1 cup of He is a vengeful and jealous God

A generous helping of don’t bring your human knife of sin to God’s gunfight of retribution

A sprinkling of puny humans acting badly

For instant stupidity combine these ingredients with a helping of ‘discernment’


Pastor says Kevin Rudd to blame for floods

A CHRISTIAN pastor has blamed Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd for the floods devastating Queensland.

That’s because Mr Rudd “spoke against Israel” in December 2010, Daniel Nalliah from the Catch the Fire Ministries has written on his website.

“It is very interesting that Kevin Rudd is from Queensland. Is God trying to get our attention? I believe so,” he said.

Mr Rudd, during a visit to Israel in December, called on the Jewish state to allow international inspectors into its nuclear facilities.

He also called for a halt to the construction of Jewish settlements in East Jerusalem and the West Bank.

Mr Nalliah said every time America went against Israel there was “disaster in the land.”

He sees the Queensland floods as a parallel.

Read: here

Call me a cynic if you will, but if God was going to punish a nation with a flood for speaking against Israel, and it is the angry Christian God of Nalliah above, wouldn’t a more logical choice be Iran?

Seriously, think about it. One guy says some stuff about Israel’s policy so God is going to flood Australia, or a nation that consistently speaks of destroying Israel? Really, if we had a God who was in control of such events and used them to punish us and teach us a lesson, really, which nation would be in trouble?

Read the OT and then get back to me…

HT: Zwingli Loved the Ladies

4 Comments leave one →
  1. January 11, 2011 10:42 am

    Ah yes, but Australia is more easily convinced by a flood. There are not any Daniel Nalliahs in Iran.

  2. Jake permalink
    January 11, 2011 11:09 pm

    You know, normally I just comment on here to take the Mick but I’ve gotta say, “God’s gunfight of retribution” is just phenomenal work. Your best yet. Kudos.

  3. January 12, 2011 1:46 pm

    Took me a while to find the original story… I was trying to go through “Zwingli Loved the Dudes“.

    Personally, I think it’s telling that someone suggesting that maybe, just maybe, this one holdout pipsqueak-on-the-world-stage country that has never submitted to IAEA inspections, should reverse that policy is considered “speaking against Israel” and thus places said speaker and his entire nation under imminent threat of divine retribution.

    It’s also telling that most of those braying about Israel’s inviolability (nuclear or otherwise) are citizens of the only country to have ever unleashed nuclear fire on a civilian population…

    Any chance Rudd was practicing Voodoo or witchcraft while making his heretical suggestion?


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