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Song of Songs + Inexperienced Youth Pastor = Yikes

April 14, 2011

I’m assuming this is the youth ‘pastor’… unfortunately he is socializing and inculcating teenagers about social roles from a ‘biblical’ perspective. Poor kids.

Apparently, the ‘biblical’ man doesn’t wear skinny jeans, drink decaf tea, or watch Ellen… uh… what?… er…my goodness. I feel bad for anyone in the audience that had to sit through the other however many minutes of this ‘sermon’. One more would have been too long.

‘Cuz like, he would, like, totally keep preaching, like, and saying all, like, deep stuff, about, like, the Bible and stuff… you know?

(via)

19 Comments leave one →
  1. April 14, 2011 6:37 am

    Yikes indeed! I love the gasp for breath before each new attribute.

  2. Jon H permalink
    April 14, 2011 7:21 am

    Note that he himself is not terribly dusky of skintone. Nor is his Adam’s apple terribly prominent.

    • Jon H permalink
      April 14, 2011 7:22 am

      I guess I’m saying, he probably wouldn’t win in a fight.

  3. April 14, 2011 8:24 am

    Dude, where’s your Adam’s apple?😉

  4. April 14, 2011 8:47 am

    scott- just an observation- someone up there must really dislike you. otherwise, you wouldnt have to be subjected to such utter ignorance and stupid dilettantism so regularly.

  5. April 14, 2011 9:11 am

    My church just went through two youth “ministers” much like this. The parent “helpers” are sometimes just as bad.

    Then again, the overall state of education in American churches is pretty abysmal. You should here some of things I have heard in Sunday school. It’s like anyone is allowed to teach! :^o

    • Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
      April 14, 2011 11:16 am

      If anyone wanted to do a TV sitcom about what goes on around the pastor of a church and bothered to do the job right, there’d be no lack of RL material for the scripts. People do enough wild and crazy things in general, and a church crowd is no exception.

      One of the continuing characters in such a sitcom-done-right would be the Youth Minister (TM) who’s trying so hard to be Relevant and Kewl that he can’t see how bad he’s butchering everything else.

      • Jon H permalink
        April 14, 2011 4:05 pm

        Someone could probably make a good living doing a church version of Dilbert.

  6. Chris E permalink
    April 14, 2011 9:26 am

    Is this any worse than the infamous series from the cussing pastor?

    • WenatcheeTheHatchet permalink
      April 14, 2011 6:28 pm

      which infamous series from the “cussing pastor”?

      • WenatcheeTheHatchet permalink
        April 14, 2011 6:33 pm

        oh, actually bothered to listen to ten seconds of the clip. Never mind. 🙂 Presumably the boy is copying the 2008 version of the material rather than the 1999 version of the material.

        When I was a teenager I was in an Assemblies of God church where the youth pastor told us we needed to know what exegesis and hermeneutics were so we didn’t abuse biblical texts. The older I get the more fortunate I realize I was I got that kind of youth pastor and not the usual kind.

        • WenatcheeTheHatchet permalink
          April 17, 2011 4:54 pm

          Actually, Chris E., lots of preachers might consider it better because this kid isn’t explaining which techniques and positions are fun to try in marriage a la Driscoll.🙂

          • Chris E permalink
            April 18, 2011 3:37 am

            Though there’s less cognitive dissonance involved when someone with a deeper voice uses phrases like ‘dude of dudes’

  7. Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
    April 14, 2011 11:17 am

    Apparently, the ‘biblical’ man doesn’t wear skinny jeans, drink decaf tea…

    Okay, time out for Q&A.

    I know coffee had to be officially Christianized in the late Middle Ages, but when did decaf become Heathen and Satanic?

    • WenatcheeTheHatchet permalink
      April 14, 2011 6:34 pm

      Probably around the time it became “sin” to drink light beer.

  8. April 14, 2011 1:22 pm

    This guy could be the next Derek Prince — just pull some random prejudices out of your ass and make $$$ from sheeple who like having lots of rules and rituals

    • Chris E permalink
      April 14, 2011 3:07 pm

      In fairness, Prince didn’t make a huge amount of money on the back of his prejudices.

      I always thought that one of the reasons that Derek Prince succeeded with Pentecostals, was that the educated voice trigged knee jerk forelock tugging. This would fit in with the thesis that Baptists are Pentecostals with shoes, and Methodists are Baptists who can read.

  9. April 15, 2011 6:36 am

    I don’t understand this recent “dude” fetish. The pastorate these days must be having one hell of a crisis of masculinity. (OMG I cursed! I’m such a bro, like Solomon!)

    Nice to have you back, by the way. Although, discovering that I’ve missed a month’s worth of “Christian” dreck is ruining my productivity this morning.

    • WenatcheeTheHatchet permalink
      April 17, 2011 4:53 pm

      The fetish isn’t that recent. We’re witnessing some kind of trickle-down effect from Driscoll.

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