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False Prophets Jacobs and Joyner Bring God’s Wrath on America

April 18, 2011

In recent days false prophets Rick Joyner and Cindy Jacobs have been claiming to speak for God. Joyner claimed that earthquake in Japan was a sign that demonic Nazism was going to engulf the United States, and if that wasn’t a stupid enough public statement, Jacobs claimed that the repeal of DADT so infuriated God that he decided to kill some birds and fishes–and when that clear unambiguous warning wasn’t heeded–in a display of terrible aim, God had to send an earthquake on Japan for American actions.

Clinically insane people with erroneous categories for interpreting the natural phenomena around them, and then blaming their interpretation of terrible destruction on God has… well… ticked God off.

So, since I have proven to be a true prophet of the Lord with a heavy prophetic mantle, Yahweh has decided to send a message to America about these false prophets through his true prophet: me.

The word of the LORD came to me saying,

“Scott, prophesy against the false prophets of America who prophesy, and say to those who prophesy from their own inspiration, ‘Listen to the word of the LORD!

‘Thus says the Lord GOD, “Woe to the foolish prophets who are following their own spirit and have seen nothing.
“O America, your false prophets have been like foxes among ruins. They see falsehood and lying divination who are saying, ‘The LORD declares,’ when the LORD has not sent them; yet they hope for the fulfillment of their word…

Therefore, thus says the Lord GOD, “Because you have spoken falsehood and seen a lie, therefore behold, I am against you,” declares the Lord GOD. “So My hand will be against the fake prophets who see false visions and utter lying divinations…

“It is definitely because they have misled My people by saying, ‘Judgment!’ when there is no judgment.

Therefore, thus says the Lord GOD, “I will make a violent wind break out in My wrath. There will also be in My anger a flooding rain and hailstones to consume it in wrath.


Foreboding scene in the lightning-infested skies above Menasha, Wisconsin:

A massive tornado barrel led through Mapleton, Iowa, damaging or destroying as much as 60% of the small town

West Texas is currently battling the worst wildfires in its history, with one fast-moving fire torching over 60,000 acres and destroying some 40 homes as of Sunday

Melting snow and high-moisture soil caused overland flooding in the Red River Valley, which led to evacuations in areas surrounding Fargo

Hail as large as baseballs” broke car windows during a messy Saturday in the Charlotte area that saw nine people injured by lightning and several trees and power lines downed by strong winds:

“Thus I will spend My wrath on the false prophets of America who prophesy, and who see visions of my hand in events when it is not my hand,’ declares the Lord GOD. “Now you, Scott, set your face against these enemies of God who are prophesying from their own inspiration. Prophesy against them.”

Clearly, with the LORD raging against America because of these false prophets they need to be rounded up, put in straight jackets, and assigned to some good clinics to deal with their delusions of grandeur.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. April 18, 2011 9:44 am

    If I wanted to preach this text, to what deutero-canonical book would I assign it to? 1 Scott? 🙂

    • April 18, 2011 9:48 am

      Scottzekiel 13

    • Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
      April 18, 2011 10:31 am

      Book of Hezekiah, of course.

  2. April 18, 2011 9:45 am

    *disregard either “to”*

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