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The Bible Guarantees It!

April 28, 2011

From Family Radio, the kooks who are following the ‘exegesis’ and numerology of Harold Camping who is certain that he has proven that the rapture will happen on May 21, 2011, and is the “scholar” who likes to let out a hearty chuckle when he considers the people who believe the world will end in 2012. “That date has not one stitch of biblical authority,” Camping says from the Oakland office where he runs Family Radio, an evangelical station that reaches listeners around the world. “It’s like a fairy tale.” The real date for the end of times, he says, is in 2011.

Seriously, I can’t wait for May 22nd to get here. I only wish that I could be with Camping and his followers when nothing happens…

But Scott, you ask, don’t you know the Bible has guaranteed Camping’s prediction? But it’s wrong, I retort! How do you know, you inquire?

Because I am a prophet with an extremely heavy anointing! Thus says the mouth of YHWH, “For surely I know the plans I have for,” says YHWH, “Plans to leave you on earth, and no plans to rapture you on May 21, 2011. Carry on. Look busy.”

Seriously, when the Rapture does not happen on May 21st, you can all venerate me and give me money, and I will have proven and guaranteed that I am a prophet of YHWH.

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