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Some Free Unsolicited Advice For Church Boards

May 9, 2011

You would think that it would be unnecessary to offer the following advice, “If someone applies to be the pastor at your church and he has 27 arrests over a 27-year period, including five felony convictions, eight misdemeanor convictions and two contempt of court charges then they probably aren’t quite right for the job.”

Unfortunately, for one church, the above advice is exactly what they needed. Meet Kenneth Terrell one of the worst pastors in America who is currently facing a litany of charges:

Terrell is facing embezzlement and wire transfer charges to the tune of $200, 000. Oh and if the sordid criminal history and embezellment are not enough for you apparently this ___________ (insert your favorite derogatory word here) is also facing child molestation and sexual battery charges.

Can’t be possible you say? Read the whole story…

Still wondering how this could happen. I’ll give you a big hint: Terrell’s congregations is part of the International Pentecostal Holiness Church who are, in my opinion, one of the most ignorant, superstitious, gullible, and credulous Christian sects in the history of humankind.

Board Member: Pastor Terrell it looks like you have had some problems with the law in your history

Terrell: Praise Jesus. Count it a joy when the enemy persecutes you. The devil was really coming against my ministry, and trying to use those in the secular government to keep the Word of the Lord quiet. But the Bible says that God’s Word shall not return void, and praise Jesus, I fought and bound those spirits of contention, and broke the bind they were trying to put on God’s Word and my ministry.

Board member: Hallelujah brother. You have the magic power to defeat the devil and his demons. Will you be our pastor?

Terrell: Of course. I only ask that I have complete control of the books, alone time with the kids, and no questions asked whatsoever.

Board member: I don’t know…

Terrell: Were you not listening? I live in total prosperity and victory in Christ. I have his anointing to spread his word to the nations, and the gates of hell have not been able to prosper against me. What more proof do you want?

Board member: You’re right. Seems reasonable. Please don’t put me outside the hedge of protection for questioning. I’m being led by the Spirit right now, and God is telling me this is the right thing for our church…

Terrell: If God is for this, who can be against it?

(Amens all around)

2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 10, 2011 10:53 am

    Unbelievable! And, taking it one step further, assuming said pastor had any knowledge of those “spirits” had any one grabbed a clue @ this “church of complete gullibility and naivete” & confronted this guy he would have likely said they were under a “spirit of rebellion.”

  2. May 17, 2011 8:52 pm

    My advice would be to stay with your current church. There is no need to cause unnecessary division amongst your family over whether you are going to a “calvinist” church. If the church offers good preaching and good fellowship then I say stay.

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