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Lying For Jesus: David Benoit

June 27, 2011

Here’s David Benoit performing the tired old schtick, “If you’re kids play RPGs they will become witches. If they read Harry Potter they will become witches.” Seriously, has this stupidity not been declared enough that persons with even the lowest functioning IQ possible would stop and say, “Duh, wait a minute. They been tellin’ me that for a real long time, and nuthin’ ain’t ever happen. Maybe he’s wrong….”

Of course, in his fear-mongering Benoit has to throw out a ridiculous lie to really create that perfect environment of danger and evil when he says, “When there is a brutal murder that happens in America, and they have a suspect, one of the first things they ask that person is ‘Do you play fantasy role play games?’.” At that precise moment someone should have stood up from the audience, walked on stage, firmly slapped him across the face and said, “Stop lying!” And then, went and calmly sat back down at their seat.

IRONY ALERT: At the end of this video Benoit declares, “In America adults can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality.” First, it’s humorous because clearly Benoit cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality, but on the other hand it is true. But here’s the thing: if someone wants to sit around and pretend that they can do magic it doesn’t matter one iota.


Because it has no real material affects. You can cast a body-binding spell a million times and your success rate would be exactly zero. People that investigate the occult, or pretend they can do magic are seriously mentally deluded, but are no more dangerous than someone who is a Trekkie or a Star Wars nerd. They are fantasies built on ignorance, and they are not dangerous.

What is unfair to your children however is teaching them that a seriously mentally handicapped person who thinks they have the magic ability to affect the real world by saying a few charms is a real danger. Then your child may not be able to distinguish between reality and fantasy, and that is terrible parenting.

My children watch harry Potter. In fact we watch the movies as a family, ans soon we will be going on a Potterthon in anticipation of the last movie. We also play Lego Harry Potter on the Wii. My kids do not believe in any way that they can do magic, fly brooms, or go to a wizarding school because I have taught them to use their brain, discussed material reality, and therefore, they very clearly know the difference between the make believe, impossible, never going to happen world of Harry potter, and how things work in the real world.

I wish magic was real so I could cast an expelliarmus of stupidity charm on this guy.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. June 27, 2011 10:55 am

    What about people who believe that they can turn hurricanes by standing in a circle, raising their hands and saying certain words in unison? Mostly Harmless? There are certain forms of prayer and claims concerning their effectiveness that are just as nutty as your average Wiccan or AD&D nonsense.

  2. Jon H permalink
    June 27, 2011 11:00 am

    “Because it has no real material affects. ”


    If magic worked, it would have been adopted for military use hundreds of years ago. Nevermind fireball-flinging or conjuring demons to fight. Simply conjuring clean water and food would be a massive advantage when the other guy’s troops are foraging on the march and drinking tainted water.

    The world would be a very different place.

  3. Jon H permalink
    June 27, 2011 11:04 am

    “What is unfair to your children however is teaching them that a seriously mentally handicapped person who thinks they have the magic ability to affect the real world by saying a few charms is a real danger. ”

    Well, there may be a danger, but it has nothing to do with actual magic. If the guy thinks he’s a fire truck, he might be a danger ’cause he’s nuts, but not because *he actually is a fire truck*.

  4. nazani14 permalink
    June 28, 2011 1:36 pm

  5. Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
    July 15, 2011 10:58 am

    Today it’s Harry Potter turning Our Children on to Satanic Witchcraft.
    20-30 years ago, it was D&D.
    50-60 years ago, it was EC Comics.

    What’ll it be next? My Little Pony?

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