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Golden Oil

September 8, 2011

Regular visitor Chris E sent me this link. It’s from Red Letter Ministries’ “Crack Shop” where they sell all of their products. As Chris put it in his email, “Here are two worlds I assumed would never meet .. weird health food supplements and pentecostalism.”

Perhaps, you are wondering, “Crack Shop? That’s a weird name. Pentecostal health products?” Well, we’ll let the purveyors of the site ‘explain’:

What is The Crack Shop? It is the Kratos! Aka Cracktos, the energy of Christ Jesus that dominates the spirit world. Our Crack will empower you to walk in the full potential of the DNA of Jesus inside your heart!

Alrighty then… let’s take a look at one of their products that will supposedly unleash the full potential of your Jesus DNA:

Golden Oil

“Unleash the Quantum in your Leap!”

CLICK HERE to download “The Science of Monatomic Gold”

RLM Laboratories is excited to exclusively present you with “Golden Oil.” It is simply the most powerful monatomic gold supplement available anywhere in the world. We have taken the purest monatomic gold, and using the most advanced homeopathic technology, we have magnified the power of it by 30 times.  Homeopathic monatomic gold, platinum, and anti-aging solution 3x 6x 12x 30x power.

Drop 3 drops under tongue each day. A single 1 oz. dropper bottle lasts approximately 5 months.

Golden oil dramatically helps the body conduct the electricity of a Christian’s spirit life; this therefore enhances all spiritual activity. The entire function of the outer court of the temple(the body) of the Holy Spirit is to manifest the quality of life in our spirit into the earth realm. This is why Adam was created from the gold dust of the earth in Genesis 2, because gold performs this transmission the best! $64.99 + Free UPS shipping to the USA only.


I like the line, “using the most advanced homeopathic technology” as if that gives it some sort of legitimacy. I think Tim Minchin put it best in his poem Storm:

“By definition”, I begin
“Alternative Medicine”, I continue
“Has either not been proved to work,
Or been proved not to work.
You know what they call “alternative medicine”
That’s been proved to work?

As far as Golden Oil’s claim that it “dramatically helps the body conduct the electricity of a Christian’s spirit life; this therefore enhances all spiritual activity”?

Colour me very skeptical.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
    September 8, 2011 4:01 pm

    “Just like Electro-Alchemicial Chi Quackery, Except CHRISTIAN (TM)!”

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