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The Effects of Taking Golden and Diamond Oil

September 8, 2011

Perhaps, you saw the exciting posts on Scotteriology about Golden Oil, which uses the latest in homeopathic technology, and Diamond Oil, which uses Angel technology, and thought to yourself, “I would like the electricity of my Christian spiritual life dramatically enhanced and have increased vibrational glory manifesting through my body at the same time.”

Well have we got good news for you: according to Red Letter Ministries’ “Crack Shop” where they sell all of their products: “Diamond Oil and Golden Oil are safe and beneficial to take together as they are almost completely different minerals. Enjoy!”

“Almost completely different minerals”? Who woulda thunk it?!?

Anyways, before you spend $130 US to get these amazing products which access the latest scientific breakthroughs in homeopathic technology and angel technology, I thought I should show you the amazing benefits of taking these products.

This is Brandon, who runs Red Letter Ministries. This is what taking Golden and Diamond Oil can do for you!

It’s all about, you know, producing sons of god; mature ones, whom God can put his government on, which means when they speak things, things change. Sometimes papa does stuff sovereignly we don’t understand, or allows stuff soveriegnly, that um, we don’t understand, um, but most of the time, almost all of the time we are able to change anything in the atmosphere, anything in the weather, anything in a person’s life that is wrong with them. We have the authority and the ability as Christians to heal them, deliver them, set them free, and impart the anointing freely. Freely you have received now freely give it away.

Whoa, that’s deep man… oh wait, I meant: complete bullshit.

Let’s just overlook the fact that the man ‘believes’ in homepathic and angelic technology. Let’s overlook the fact that he thinks he can change the weather with the power of his magic incantations. He’s obviously delusional, so we’ll let the delusional claims to magic powers be.

However, apparently he is willing to ‘impart’ his delusion for “free”: “”Freely you have received now freely give it away” as he says in the video. But  little bottles of snake-oil that access Jesus DNA and angel technology? Yeah, that will cost you $64.99 US a pop!

11 Comments leave one →
  1. September 8, 2011 9:22 am

    An hour and a half of this crap?

    1) It is obvious this guy is taking more than golden and diamond oil. He needs to lay of the pot.
    2) He lists his videos on his website under “Whacking Material?” Now there’s one classy dude.
    3) He condemns the Church as teaching “witchcraft,” yet he binds the Holy Spirit to oils and paintings which is a prominent part of Wicca.

    He’s an idiot. We move on.

    • Chris E permalink
      September 8, 2011 10:01 am

      “An hour and a half of this crap?”

      Repeated weekly.

  2. Jon Hendry permalink
    September 8, 2011 9:43 am

    One of his track names: “8. The Meth Anointing/Remastered (6:15)”

    I guess he knows his audience.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
      September 8, 2011 4:08 pm

      Guy looks like he’s strung out on Meth.

      And those little “beauty mark” anchor tattoos on his cheeks?

      • Jon Hendry permalink
        September 8, 2011 4:47 pm

        Doesn’t seem to have meth face. Yet. We can check back in a month or two, see if he’s covered with scabs yet.

        • Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
          September 23, 2011 4:23 pm

          Okay… May not be Meth, but the guy’s strung out on something.

          “All righty… What you say we get on out of Creepytown and over to Applejack’s?”
          — Rainbow Dash

  3. Jon Hendry permalink
    September 8, 2011 10:34 am

    Oh, and did you notice this site linked from there?

    http://kingdomgold.com/

    Selling investment vehicles like Iraqi Dinars, and precious metals like *copper* and heavily marked-up silver ingots inscribed with the Ten Commandments.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
      September 23, 2011 4:22 pm

      Any Brooklyn Bridges in the deal?

  4. Jon Hendry permalink
    September 8, 2011 4:48 pm

    Sometimes I wish I were devious and disingenuous enough to set up a profitable scheme putting out this kind of nonsense.

    • dan permalink
      September 8, 2011 5:59 pm

      No you don’t. Youd only end up with meth scabs.

  5. Georges permalink
    September 14, 2011 4:09 am

    Holy crap!

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