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William Tapley: Captured or Raptured?

September 21, 2011

William Tapley, the Turd Eagle of the Apocalypse and the Co-Pervert of the End Times, is back with a new video “unraveling” the book of Revelation, and he wants to ask you a question: will you be captured? Or will you be raptured?

However, I’m really disappointed he did not turn this particular session of insanity into a song. Capture, rapture, vulture, puncture, future, torture, rupture: tell me that doesn’t have the possibility of being the ‘best’ Tapley song ever!?!

Oh well, we can only hope he comes to his senses and sees the linguistic goldmine he’s sitting on for his next rocking music video.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. September 21, 2011 11:12 am

    Oh my, this cracked me up. I had always wonder why the heated the fire 7 times hotter for the Hebrew children. How could I miss it?

  2. 4xi0m permalink
    September 26, 2011 9:03 pm

    Despite the fact that this is all eisegetic crap-ture, and that Tapley may need to be slap-tured (I’ll handle the wordplay if you won’t, Third Eagle), I have to admit that his apocalyptic scenario is significantly less hard-assed than those of some other end-of-the-world soothsayers. Plus, it’s refreshing to see a fanatic who’s neither an all-Protestants-are-going-to-hell Catholic or an all-Catholics-are-going-to-hell Protestant.

    If he’s upset about return-to-sender mail, though, I don’t see why he doesn’t just convert his book to a PDF and offer it for download. I checked, but I can’t find anything phallic about my computer…

  3. October 4, 2011 12:47 pm

    Good for you. Give Tapley hell.

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