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Prayer Circles Are Magic!

November 8, 2011

Are you having troubles being more than conquerors? When you bind the Devil does he always seem to get away, and then you have to do it all over again? When you pull down a stronghold does it just build itself back up?

Is your prayer not as 100% effectual as you would like? Well then, look no further, because this man has the magic symbol to placate the forces of the almighty!

Prayer Circles (): Super-magical-semi-awesome-cosmic prayer! Works every time.*

Video via

Just in case you’ve never heard of Honi. From Wikipedia:

Honi Ha-Ma’agel (חוני המעגל Khoni, Choni, or Ḥoni, HaMa’agel), (lit. Honi the Circle-Drawer) (1st century BCE) was a Jewish scholar prior to the age of the tannaim, the scholars from whose teachings the Mishnah was derived.

During the 1st century BCE, a variety of religious movements and splinter groups developed amongst the Jews in Judea. A number of individuals claimed to be miracle workers in the tradition of Elijah and Elisha, the ancient Jewish prophets. The Talmud provides some examples of such Jewish miracle workers, one of whom is Honi ha-Ma’agel, who was famous for his ability to successfully pray for rain.

Circle drawing incident

On one occasion when God did not send rain well into the winter (in the geographic regions of Israel, it rains mainly in the winter), he drew a circle in the dust, stood inside it, and informed God that he would not move until it rained. When it began to drizzle, Honi told God that he was not satisfied and expected more rain; it then began to pour. He explained that he wanted a calm rain, at which point the rain calmed to a normal rain.

He was almost put into cherem (excommunication) for the above incident in which he showed “dishonor” to God. However, Shimon ben Shetach, the brother of Queen Shlomtzion, excused him, saying that he was Honi and had a special relationship with God.

* Works every time except when subjected to testing and observation, then it seems to only work about as good as random chance. But if you would rather have the evidence of anecdotal stories and unsubstantiated claims proving the super-duper-awesome power of Prayer Circles (), then put your check in the mail (also accepting credit cards) and you too can have the Prayer Circle () force to make anything possible!

13 Comments leave one →
  1. November 8, 2011 7:52 am

    I’m pretty sure Jesus informed his followers how they are to pray…

    • November 8, 2011 7:54 am

      No need for Jesus. We have Honi and magic circles!

  2. Dustin permalink
    November 8, 2011 8:25 am

    I. Am. Impressed. Where and how do I send all of my moneys?

  3. November 8, 2011 10:23 am

    The difference between Christianity and Wicca is that in Christianity we are given authority to exercise the moral will of God in our own personal lives.

    Wiccans seek for power through ritual to exercise their desires over the world and dictate to supernatural forces their marching orders.

    What world view does this video emulate?

    • Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
      November 10, 2011 8:48 am

      Does the Prayer Circle (TM) have to have
      a) runes written around the outside?
      b) a pentacle inscribed within?
      c) an Electric Pentacle as per Carnacki?
      d) a pentacle itself inscribed with a Vitruvian Nightmare Moon?

  4. Tracey Sheneman permalink
    November 8, 2011 10:48 am

    Ack!

    Here’s a prayer – and a sentiment – that’s worth emulating (no magic involved): “Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.’ ” (Matt. 26:39) I feel confident in asserting we all know the Father’s answer to our Lord’s prayer. “And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death–even death on a cross!” (Phil. 2:8)

    Well, the scripture should never be used to “proof text” one’s assumptions and biases, but the Word says this video is a load of self-indulgent, narcissistic, anti-Christ bunkum!

  5. November 8, 2011 5:38 pm

    As Matthew 6:9 reads:

    Pray then in this way:
    1) Send money to Mark Batterson
    2) Get DVD and put it in player.
    3) Draw a circle with chalk.
    4) Stand in circle.
    5) Pray ‘through’ _____ (whatever the hell that means; apparently you don’t need an accusative or dative object following a preposition during prayer.)
    6) No matter what does or does not happen, or regardless of when it does or does not happen, thank God for answering your circle prayer.

    (of course, I’m paraphrasing the Lord’s Prayer here based on the instructions offered in the DVD)

  6. Robert permalink
    November 8, 2011 6:07 pm

    Is it necessary to by a book and a dvd in order to draw a circle?

  7. 4xi0m permalink
    November 8, 2011 6:52 pm

    So if a prayer circle is super-magical-semi-awesome, a prayer sphere would logically be even better. It adds volume. Now, where did I put that human-size hamster ball…

  8. January 12, 2012 1:48 pm

    The only circle I know that Scripture speaks of, is something to do with a loin prowling around us.

  9. January 12, 2012 3:57 pm

    Craig: I know you meant “lion,” but “loin” makes for a hilarious, yet disturbing picture!

    • January 12, 2012 3:59 pm

      OWwww! Yes..I meant lion!

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