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How To Ensure You Know Nothing About the Tribulation

February 15, 2012

This is simply stunning… the high priest of stupidity, Steven L. Anderson, winner of the prestigious 2009 Worst Preacher Ever award, is teaming up with the Antichrist of Christianity, Kent Hovind… just let that sink in for a moment.

Steven L. Anderson and Kent Hovind together… Anderson is one of the most bigoted, hateful and ignorant pastors to ever stand behind a pulpit. Hovind is an anti-intellectual, a terrible apologist, and an all around complete liar when it comes to science or any rational thought whatsoever (or paying tax for that matter!). And they are teaming up to ‘instruct’ people on what happens after the tribulation?!?

Dear God, clearly we are in the last days!

Well, if you have ever thought to yourself, “I would love to have terrible theology, informed by a tendentious worldview, and lacking any credibility whatsoever” then this video is for you!

Anderson x Hovind = Stupidity multiplied into infinity

“After the Tribulation,” due out in late 2012 is being produced by Framing the World Productions. The final film will feature:

– HD video footage of Pastor Anderson preaching at Faithful Word Baptist Church
– Exclusive telephone interview with Kent Hovind from prison
– Pastor Anderson speaking to a religion class at Arizona State University about the tribulation, rapture, etc.
– Interviews with Pastor Roger Jimenez and Pastor Steven L Anderson

The stupid, it burns.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 15, 2012 8:33 am

    Hate in High Def!

  2. EricW permalink
    February 15, 2012 9:50 am

    0.50-1:06 “IN (empasis) your right hand (points to hand), or IN (emphasis) your forehead” (image of implantable computer chip shown)

    16 καὶ ποιεῖ πάντας, τοὺς μικροὺς καὶ τοὺς μεγάλους, καὶ τοὺς πλουσίους καὶ τοὺς πτωχούς, καὶ τοὺς ἐλευθέρους καὶ τοὺς δούλους, ἵνα δῶσιν αὐτοῖς χάραγμα ἐπὶ τῆς χειρὸς αὐτῶν τῆς δεξιᾶς ἢ ἐπὶ τὸ μέτωπον αὐτῶν.

    ἐπὶ (with genitive and then with accusative) is also the reading of the Majority/Byzantine text, though some Byz mss have the plural genitive of τὸ μέτωπον.

    ἐπί prep. w. gen., dat., or acc.; s. the lit. on ἀνά, beg. (Hom.+). The basic idea is ‘upon’ (opp. ὑπό) Kühner-G. I 495; s. also Rob 600–605. (In the foll. classifications case use is presented seriatim; in earlier editions of this lexicon all sections, except 13, 17, and 18 [of time], were included under the general rubric ‘Place’.)

    ① marker of location or surface, answering the question ‘where?’ on, upon, near

    ⓐ w. gen., marking a position on a surface ἐ. (τῆς) γῆς on (the) earth (cp. En 9:1; 98:1; ἐ. γῆς 25:6; PsSol 17:2) Mt 6:10, 19; 9:6; 23:9; Mk 6:47 al. (Ar. 12, 1; Just., A I, 54, 7 al.). ἐ. τῆς θαλάσσης on the sea (cp. Job 9:8; Dio Chrys. 10 [11], 129 βαδίζειν ἐ. τῆς θαλ.; Lucian, Philops. 13 βαδίζειν ἐφʼ ὕδατος, VH 2, 4; Artem. 3, 16 ἐ. τ. θαλάσσης περιπατεῖν; schol. on Nicander, Ther. 15 p. 5, 26ff relying on the testimony of Hesiod: Orion was given a gift [δωρεά] by the gods καὶ ἐ. κυμάτων πορεύεσθαι καὶ ἐ. τῆς γῆς) Mt 14:26; Mk 6:48f; J 6:19 (w. acc. P75; s. 4bβ below). ἐ. τῶν νεφελῶν on the clouds Mt 24:30; 26:64 (Da 7:13; cp. Philo, Praem. 8). ἐ. κλίνης 9:2; Lk 17:34. ἐ. τοῦ δώματος on the roof vs. 31; Mt 24:17; 10:27 foll. by pl. W. verbs: κάθημαι ἐ. τινος sit on someth. (Job 2:8; ἐ. τοῦ ἅρματος GrBar 6:2; cp. JosAs 27:1 ἐ. τοῦ ὀχήματος καθεζόμενος; Just., D. 90, 5 ἐ. λίθου καθεζόμενος) Mt 24:3; 27:19; Ac 8:28; Rv 6:16; 9:17 (the same prep. used in Rv w. κάθημαι and dat. s. bα below, and w. acc. cα). ἑστηκέναι ἐ. τινος stand on someth. Ac 21:40; Rv 10:5, 8 (Just., D. 86, 2 ἐστηρίχθαι). With parts of the body: ἐ. χειρῶν αἴρειν carry on (i.e. in/with) their hands Mt 4:6; Lk 4:11 (both Ps 90:12). ἐ. κεφαλῆς on the head (Hdt. 5, 12, 4) J 20:7; 1 Cor 11:10; Rv 12:1. ἐ. τοῦ μετώπου Rv 7:3; 9:4. ἐ. γυμνοῦ on the naked body Mk 14:51. Cp. use of ἐπί w. καθίζω and gen., and ἐπί w. κάθημαι and acc. Mt 19:28.—In a gener. and fig. sense Ac 21:23.

    ⓑ w. dat., gener. suggesting contiguity on, in, above. …

    ⓒ w. acc., answering the question ‘where?’ (Hom. et al.; LXX; JosAs 29:2 φορῶν ἐ. τὸν μηρὸν αὐτοῦ ῥομφαίαν; Just., D. 53, 1 ζυγὸν ἐ. αὐχένα μὴ ἔχων)

    α. on, over someth. καθεύδειν ἐ. τι sleep on someth. Mk 4:38. καθῆσθαι ἐ. τι sit on someth. Mt 19:28 (in the same vs. καθίζω w. gen., s. a above) J 12:15; Rv 4:4; 6:2; 11:16 al.; cp. Lk 21:35b; κεῖσθαι ἐ. τι lie upon someth. 2 Cor 3:15. κατακεῖσθαι Lk 5:25. ἑστηκέναι ἐ. τὸν αἰγιαλόν stand on the shore Mt 13:2; cp. Rv 14:1. ἑστῶτας ἐ. τὴν θάλασσαν standing beside the sea 15:2. ἔστη ἐ. τὴν κεφαλὴν τοῦ παιδίου (the star) remained stationary over the head of the child GJs 21:3. σκηνοῦν ἐ. τινα spread a tent over someone Rv 7:15. ἐ. τὴν δεξιάν at the right hand 5:1. λίθος ἐ. λίθον stone upon stone Mt 24:2.

    β. ἐ. τὸ αὐτό at the same place, together (Ps.-X., Respublica Athen. [The Old Oligarch] 2, 2; Pla., Rep. 329a; SIG 736, 66 [92 b.c.]. In pap=‘in all’: PTebt 14, 20 [114 b.c.]; PFay 102, 6.—2 Km 2:13; En 100:2) εἶναι ἐ. τὸ αὐτό be together Lk 17:35; Ac 1:15; 2:1, 44. In 1 Cor 7:5 it is a euphemistic expr. for sexual union. κατοικεῖν ἐ. τὸ αὐτό live in the same place (Dt 25:5) Hm 5, 1, 4. Also w. verbs of motion (Sus 14 Theod.) συνέρχεσθαι ἐ. τὸ αὐτό come together to the same place 1 Cor 11:20; 14:23; cp. B 4:10 (Just., A I, 67, 3 συνέλευσις γίνεται). συνάγεσθαι (Phlegon of Tralles [Hadr.]: 257 Fgm. 36 III 9 Jac.; PsSol 2:2; TestJob 28:5 Jos., Bell. 2, 346) Mt 22:34; Ac 4:26 (Ps 2:2); 1 Cl 34:7. ἐ. τὸ αὐτὸ μίγνυσθαι be mixed together Hm 10, 3, 3. προσετίθει ἐ. τὸ αὐτό added to their number Ac 2:47.

    γ. at, by, near someone or someth. καθῆσθαι ἐ. τὸ τελώνιον sit at the tax-office Mt 9:9 (ἐ. τὰς ὡραίας πύλας GrBar prol. 2); Mk 2:14. ἑστηκέναι ἐ. τὴν θύραν stand at the door Rv 3:20. σὺ ἔστης ἐ. τὸ θυσιαστήριον you are standing (ἕστηκας deStrycker) as priest at the altar GJs 8:2. ἐφʼ ὑμᾶς among you 2 Th 1:10; cp. Ac 1:21.—Of pers., over whom someth. is done ὀνομάζειν τὸ ὄνομα Ἰησοῦ ἐ. τινα speak the name of Jesus over someone Ac 19:13. ἐπικαλεῖν τὸ ὄνομά τινος ἐ. τινα=to claim someone for one’s own (Jer 14:9; 2 Ch 7:14; 2 Macc 8:15) Ac 15:17 (Am 9:12); Js 2:7; Hs 8, 6, 4. προσεύχεσθαι ἐ. τινα pray over someone Js 5:14.

  3. February 15, 2012 10:21 am

    Every time I see an Anderson video, I go watch the one of him getting tazed by the Border Patrol, then I feel better. http://youtu.be/sZ9OANYxgEQ

  4. 4xi0m permalink
    February 16, 2012 8:10 am

    Aside from the inanity, stupidity, etc. of this, it seems kind of superfluous. Didn’t they make movies out of those LaHaye books? The theology’s pretty much identical, and even a Christploitation movie would be more entertaining than listening to these intellectual maroons rant for two hours. Sorry Anderson, Hovind, and co., I think the “Left Behind” series beat you to it by a decade or so. No need to add to the pile. So please don’t. Please.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
      February 19, 2012 12:04 pm

      No need to add to the pile.

      Make that “STEAMING PILE OF FRESH PRODUCE, DRENCHED IN BUTTER!”

      So please don’t. Please.

      But He HAS to $AVE $OUL$!!!!! And Pre-Trib Rapture (any minute now) is right up there with Young Earth Creationism as THE Core of The Gospel!

  5. Headless Unicorn Guy permalink
    March 1, 2012 5:26 pm

    They really should get the same director who did all those classic Christploitation videos for Estus Pirkle.

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