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When Is It Better To Be A Satanist?

May 7, 2012

Apparently, sometimes when you are a child…

A couple of days ago I stumbled across the Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth. The rules were written for the Satanic Bible by famed Satanist Anton LaVey who was the founder of the Church of Satan as well as a writer, occultist, and musician.

When I first read the title Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth I had two thoughts. One, instead of the Ten Commandments, just like Spinal Tap: these go to eleven! Two, I was expecting some real weird and creepy stuff like this:

Rule 1: have sex with a goat

Rule 2: sacrifice goat to the Dark Lord while dancing naked in the moonlight

You know, good ole-fashioned satanist stuff! But then I read the rules, and well… I guess you can see for yourself:

Jack Chick steered me wrong: where’s the overt evil? Where’s the sacrifice of the virgin? Where’s the drinking of blood? I was promised blood-drinking! Alas…

Now let’s be honest, there is some weird stuff in there. I mean: who lives in a lair anymore?!? And rule seven is basically the New-Age mumbo-jumbo of The Secret and The Magic combined in two sentences with a different ‘power’ source. And Rule 11 made me laugh: “Ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them.” Sounds a little like American foreign policy to me!

What was surprising to me though was the rules that most likely persons of any religion would agree with as good policy if they didn’t know the source of the rule. Don’t steal, don’t complain, show respect in another person’s home, and don’t give unsolicited advice. These are hardly the rules I expected for Satanists… but there they are.

I was really surprised by Rule 9 “Do Not Harm Young Children”, which brings me to the title of this post, “When Is It Better To Be A Satanist?” If you are a regular reader of Scotteriology you will have seen the many posts I have written on the evil of child sexual abuse and subsequent cover-ups in the Catholic church.

One of the great demonstrable evils on planet earth is adults who sexually molest children. Children are, by and large, defenseless against such behaviour, and the responsibility of adults, especially those that are placed in a position of authority and trust, is to be a positive force in the social development of children. Studies on the psychological development of children who have been molested demonstrate the evil of the molestation. It should be denounced everywhere under any situation.

And then there’s the Catholic church… priests who molest multiple victims, and then their superiors who cover it up and then send them to a new area to do it again. So when is it better to be a satanist? Apparently, if you are entrusted to one of these child predators whose rule is “Harm Young Children Repeatedly”.

In addition, we have also seen numerous stories where parents have neglected their children’s health, believing they had some sort of access to some sort of magic, and have allowed their children to die. Any sect or religion which ignores reality, believes they can do magic which will heal their baby or child, and refuses them any sort of healthcare or modern intervention should automatically lose their children. This is not an attack on religion, but rather for the safety of children. Parents and adults are supposed to be raising children and giving them the skill sets to be successful adults and parents themselves, not giving them terrible categories to interpret natural phenomena and means by which to kill their own children. It is absolutely ridiculous.

So when is it better to be a satanist? Apparently, when your parents are so neglectful and abusive they would hold back medical care that would save your life, and instead: abuse you to death.

Even satanists understand: Do Not Harm Young Children. Now if only the Catholic Church and Faith-Healing reality-denying parents could grasp this simple truth.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Troy permalink
    May 7, 2012 1:59 pm


  2. Troy permalink
    May 7, 2012 2:00 pm

    Gah…ignore last comment. I’m shocked and appalled to realize that I was browsing the wrong website. Carry on!

  3. Jon Hendry permalink
    May 7, 2012 7:55 pm

    The best description I’ve seen of the Church of Satan is “Ayn Rand with horns on”.

    • May 8, 2012 9:26 am

      Since LaVey allegedly plagiarized some of her writings for the Satanic Bible, that seems wholly appropriate.

    • 4xi0m permalink
      May 9, 2012 6:43 am

      I thought she already had horns.

  4. vikram permalink
    May 8, 2012 5:50 pm

    How brightly shines the luminous Lucifer’s light!

  5. Mike permalink
    January 24, 2014 8:22 am

    American foriegn policy? Uncalled for man. Not Cool

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