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Bird Poop Jesus

March 1, 2013

The King of Kings; the Lord of Lords; the Alpha and the Omega; has sent an amazing sign displaying his semi-phenomenal cosmic powers!

bird poop jesus

Northeast Ohio man claims bird droppings show image of Jesus Christ

BROOKLYN, Ohio – Is it a sign of a possible miracle on the car windshield owned by a northeast Ohio man? See for yourself.

The picture was taken by Jim Lawry.

Lawry was in the driveway of his parent’s Brooklyn, Ohio, home when he noticed the spot left behind by a passing bird. A closer look gave him quite a surprise and left him amazed.

Lawry’s son, parents and friends all came out to look. They too were amazed.

In an email to NewsChannel5, Lawry said he believed it was some sort of sign and wanted to share.

Miracle? Sign? Really?

The dude you believe has “hair white as white wool, white as snow; his eyes were like a flame of fire,
his feet were like burnished bronze, refined as in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of many waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and from his mouth came a sharp, two-edged sword, and his face was like the sun shining with full force… who holds the keys of Death and Hades.”

That guy, was just sitting around thinking:

Jesus: Huh, I find Jim’s lack of faith disturbing, I need to send him a sign. A powerful sign that will really send him a message. But what to do?…

Angel 1: Appear to him in all of your glory?

Angel 2: Heal an amputee?

Angel 3: Miraculously cancel all of his debt and turn his house into gold with a big statue of you on the front lawn?

Jesus: No, I don’t think that will really get my message through. I need something more obvious and powerful. *light bulb comes on* I got it! I’ll make a made up image of myself appear in some bird poop on his windshield!

Angel 1, 2, 3: Uhhhhh…. Jesus?

Jesus: Don’t you see? It’s brilliant!

Angel 2: Uh, Jesus shouldn’t you think about that for a few minutes

Jesus: Too late. I already made it happen. Now watch as the people of the world  fill the churches and forever proclaim “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”


Because that scenario is no more ridiculous than believing bird shat on your car is a miracle or some sort of sign.

Unfortunately, this is not the first time an ignoramus has mistaken bird poop as some sort of sign. Apparently, Jesus made the image of Mary appear in some a few years back:

Jesus vs Mary XI: Dirty Pool Jesus

2 Comments leave one →
  1. captainmjs permalink
    March 2, 2013 7:41 pm

    Reblogged this on Mike's Treatise of Bullshit and commented:
    Oh the hilarity.

  2. captainmjs permalink
    March 2, 2013 7:43 pm

    At first I thought this was just a joke or a trick or something but lo and behold. Bird shit Jesus. Funny shit dude.

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