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Assholes For Jesus: Cindy Jacobs

July 23, 2013

What happens when a delusional, certifiably insane person does not get a psych evaluation, but instead is socialized into religious insanity and believes she can ‘hear’ the voice of God… and is an ignorant bigot to boot?

This infuriating insanity and bigotry happens:

“Recently in the United States we’ve had these Supreme Court decisions that are against biblical marriage, and the Lord said to me, ‘duck your head, duck your head.’ I said, ‘oh God, duck my head?’”

Jacobs asserted that God plans to “put a mark upon” believers — “as long as you’re tithing” — and bless them because “there’s a whole lot of shaking getting ready to happen.”

“I prophesied that there was going to be a lot of disasters that were going to come” such as Hurricane Sandy, Jacobs claimed, lamenting that no one listened to her. “I mean I don’t want them to come, it’s not like I’m saying ‘oh great they’re coming,’ but the point is a prophet has to say what is to come, it’s like you’re reporting.”

“We have displeased the Lord and the earth is going to answer,” Jacobs said.

OK, I’m a prophet–actually, there is proof of my heavy prophetic mantle here–so I’m prophesying that at some point in the next two years there will be some sort of weather related incident in the US: flooding, tornado, sharknado… whatever.

And super-she-douche Cindy will come out and say that she prophesied God was against same-sex marriage and was going to punish us, and then weather incident happened; ergo, God hates same-sex marriage.

I’ve demonstrated her idiocy and lies so many times that I lack the energy to do it again here… but sweet baby Jesus, how the hell does she still have a following?

So much bigotry and stupidity in one package.

Next time a tornado rolls through the central plains, let’s take a poll of how many persons whose houses and lives are destroyed are Christians and how many of them oppose same-sex marriage. I think we’ll find out pretty quickly that Cindy Jacobs is very mistaken.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 3, 2013 5:49 pm

    CJ has been around forever. She’s likely been crazy longer than she’s been famous because I never remember her being sane. I’m thinking she once gave “spiritual birth” to Guatemala during an extended prayer session or something. Don’t have a reference, so you probably will now have to delete this whole comment.

  2. GodHatesEveryone permalink
    December 16, 2013 6:53 am

    As far as for the “mark”. Only those Christians that follow the true prophets will get the mark and be saved forever. So, in the end, even if some of the forementioned christians against equal marriage rights will die in the next weather related incident, no one can be sure if they followed in the right path or were true in their beliefs of god. So, as long as you don’t see the mark, you will never know. Probably we should ask her [CJ]. God talks to her, lets hope that this must mean, she also can see things, that noone else can see.

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