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Jesus Sucks at Politics!

May 18, 2013

Anna Pierre ran for mayor of North Florida. She felt she had a special advantage entering the race.

ANNA PIERRE, RN IS ENDORSED BY JESUS CHRIST!

From Bilerico:

The candidate, who also goes by the name Princess Anna Pierre, told Local 10 reporter Janine Stanwood that she learned of Mr. Christ’s “spiritual endorsement” by praying before she registered her candidacy. Pierre also claimed to have received three signs confirming that Jesus is, in fact, on her side. When Stanwood asked what those three signs were, Pierre replied, “Well, I’m going to keep them private.”

Unfortunately for Anna, even though she had the endorsement of the big JC she lost in a landslide. Out of 6,783 votes cast, she won just 56 — 0.83% — and came in dead last. What the hell? If the endorsement of the King of Kings can’t win you a simple mayoral bid then what good is it?!?

What’s even worse for Pierre is that former North Miami mayor Kevin Burns received the most votes and is openly gay. One can only assume then that Jesus tricked Ms. Pierre into flaunting his endorsement, so that he could instead ensure Burns won the election thereby demonstrating his heavenly endorsement of homosexuality… or something like that.

Reminds me of this fiasco:

ScreenHunter_02 May. 18 09.27

What Happens When Candidates Called By God Drop Out?

And it would be unfair to leave out Pat Robertson in a post concerning religion and politics as he has worked very hard to be at the front of that particular crazy train:

In January, televangelist Pat Robertson told 700 Club viewers that in his annual New Year’s “conversation” with God, the Almighty had revealed to him who the next president would be. Up through Election Day, Robertson harshly criticized President Obama and the Democratic Party while praising Mitt Romney. Then, Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network predicted a GOP sweep, leaving Robertson utterly confounded by Obama’s victory.

Pat Robertson’s Magic is All Broken!

Medical Advice From God

May 17, 2013

Swing and a Miss

Remember: never get your current medical advice from ignorant ancient persons! Knowledge has progressed…

I guess we could also add such ‘sage’ advice as:

“Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.” 1 Tim 5:23

“Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord.” James 5:14

Read this post for evidence of how well that works…

How To Annoy A Christian

May 16, 2013

how to infuriate someone

Spare No One!

May 15, 2013

Spare No One

What Won’t Work In Hell?

May 13, 2013

Stop, drop, and Roll! ‘Cause you’re in a lake of fire, bitches!

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Also, designated drivers are designated so drunk people don’t have to drive. Maybe this person believes Jesus turning water into wine is a green light for getting schmammered… and then letting him drive?

Who knows, they’re from W. Virginia so I’m not going to spend a lot of time trying to use logic.

Via Joel “I wish I was Canadian” Watts

Science and Genesis FAIL!

April 26, 2013

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares Ken Ham, “plans to make you stupid and ignorant, and to intellectually harm you.” ~ AIG 29:11

Kids Learn the Darndest Things

 

via

Hating For Jesus: You Deserve Rape!

April 26, 2013

In a stunning display of douchebaggery and Christian hate, Arizona student Dean Saxton held up this sign at a recent event to protest sexual violence against women:

article image

Now, you would think that protesting sexual violence against women would be a no-brainer right? You would think that someone that supposedly organizes their morality around a book that says things like, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another;” or, “We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death;” would have some small modicum of compassion. You would think that a “Christian” or any normal human being with some capacity for empathy would be able to see that rape or sexual violence is not the fault of those persons who have suffered at the hands of their perpetrators.

It’s hard to imagine how broken someone has to be to believe that an innocent woman is somehow responsible for being raped, or what sort of religious indoctrination they had to undergo to think that they “deserve it.”

I shake my head…

By Michael Allen, Thu, April 25, 2013

Dean Saxton, a junior at the University of Arizona, protested a campus sexual assault awareness event on Tuesday with a sign that read “You deserve rape.”

“If you dress like a whore, act like a whore, you’re probably going to get raped,” Saxton told the Arizona Daily Wildcat. “I think that girls that dress and act like it, they should realize that they do have partial responsibility, because I believe that they’re pretty much asking for it.”

Saxton, who is majoring in religious studies, often preaches on campus under the name “Brother Dean Samuel.”

The event Saxton opposed was “Take Back the Night,” a march by students to protest sexual violence against women.

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