CMMI: Hokey Pokey vs Guitar Praise

Christianity’s March Madness has begun! We’re in the round before the quarter-finals… quarter-finals, semi-finals… what is this round? Eighth-finals? Well, we’ll just go with round one.

Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey

Perhaps the saddest, lowest, most incomprehensible moment in the history of Christianity. It is difficult to understand how any form of Christianity, at any point in the history of humanity, under any circumstance possible, could degrade into this foolishness.

To see any form of content so divorced from the extreme emotionalism is horrifying. It’s the Hokey Pokey, and they treat it like magic.

And the way that dude sings the song… it’s the Hokey Pokey dude. Come on. (Thanks J!)

Guitar Praise

Maybe some of you are thinking “what is this doing here?” But “Guitar Praise” stands as a symbol of a horrible disease in greater Christianity: take something useful or popular and stick the label “christian” on it. The problems with this are many; but to be brief: “Christian” is a bad adjective, and you end up with a product that is both derivative and not nearly as good as the original, so Christian in this instance means badly done copy-cat. If you’re thinking “CCM” at this point… yeah, me too.

“Guitar Praise” is proof that surely our western Christianity may be one of the most inept world conforming versions in the history of mankind. Kierkegaard would have a heart attack if he saw this… if he was still alive of course!

You knew it was going to happen. The devil’s music was being played in a popular video game… someone had to sanctify sanitize these games before our children started listening to rock and or roll music, experimenting, and ultimately leaving the church when they got older. Oh wait, that’s already happening… never mind.

The makers of Guitar Praise claim the game “Features hit songs from popular Christian rock bands.” Um… OK, there may be a couple of “Christian” rock bands peppered in here and there, but Chris Tomlin? Casting Crowns? Jennifer Knapp? Newsboys? Judge for yourself but feel free to make fun of, and question, their set list. If they were going to throw in some oldies could it have hurt to use some bands that actually tried to rock a little: e.g., Resurrection Band, AD, Barnabas, et cetera?

Anyways, both are low-points in Christianity; it is up to you guys to decide who continues in the Madness. Voting remains open until the end of round one and will be decided from the poll. However, don’t be afraid to cast a vote then explain your vote in the comments. There can be only one!